Page 127 - Stephen R. Covey - The 7 Habits of Highly Eff People.pdf

deep personal affection which added tremendously to our ability to work effectively
together.

Creating the unity necessary to run an effective business or a family or a marriage
requires great personal strength and courage. No amount of technical administrative skill
in laboring for the masses can make up for lack of nobility of personal character in
developing relationships. It is at a very essential, one-on-one level, that we live the
primary laws of love and life.

P Problems are PC Opportunities

This experience also taught me another powerful paradigm of interdependence. It deals
with the way in which we see problems. I had lived for months trying to avoid the
problem, seeing it as a source of irritation, a stumbling block, and wishing it would
somehow go away. But, as it turned out, the very problem created the opportunity to
build a deep relationship that empowered us to work together as a strong
complementary team.

I suggest that in an interdependent situation, every P problem is a PC opportunity -- a
chance to build the Emotional Bank Accounts that significantly affect interdependent
production.

When parents see their children's problems as opportunities to build the relationship
instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-
child interaction. Parents become more willing, even excited, about deeply understanding
and helping their children. When a child comes to them with a problem, instead of
thinking, "Oh, no! Not another problem!" their paradigm is, "Here is a great opportunity
for me to really help my child and to invest in our relationship." Many interactions
change from transactional to transformational, and strong bonds of love and trust are
created as children sense the value parents give to their problems and to them as
individuals.

This paradigm is powerful in business as well. One department store chain that operates
from this paradigm has created a great loyalty among its customers. Any time a customer
comes into the store with a problem, not matter how small, the clerks immediately see it
as an opportunity to build the relationship with the customer. They respond with a
cheerful, positive desire to solve the problem in a way that will make the customer
happy. They treat the customer with such grace and respect, giving such second-mile
service, that many of the customers don't even think of going anywhere else.

By recognizing that the P/PC Balance is necessary to effectiveness in an interdependent
reality, we can value our problems as opportunities to increase PC.

The Habits of Interdependence

With the paradigm of the Emotional Bank Account in mind, we're ready to move into the
habits of Public Victory, or success in working with other people. As we do, we can see
how these habits work together to create effective interdependence. We can also see how
powerfully scripted we are in other patterns of thought and behavior.

In addition, we can see on an even deeper level that effective interdependence can only
be achieved by truly independent people. It is impossible to achieve Public Victory with
popular "Win-Win negotiation" techniques of "reflective listening" techniques or "creative

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