Page 22 - HPN_volume4

approach a coach
that won't encroach
Missy
Contributing Author: MISSY MONOKIAN
he first coach I ever knew was a man that
would bark orders to me from the sidelines
Ttelling me what to do, the play I needed to
make and what I did wrong. Rarely did I hear
what I did right. In fact, if we did something
wrong, we ended up having to do laps around
the gym. I am almost sure you either had a
coach like that or have seen someone running
up and down the field or on the side of a court.
This was the only type of coaching I ever knew.
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When I heard the word coach after that in the 1980s,
it had a totally different concept than what I had
imagined. This new “coach” term included someone
guiding you to better yourself, self-improvement and
obtaining some kind of wisdom. Great! Thought it
was worth a try. I am fresh out of college, living in a
new state, not knowing anyone and wanting to put
clarity to my future.
My Coach or as I prefer to call her, Nightmare or
666(not a term of endearment!) was a hot mess. If
she was a Life Coach working the suicide hotline she
would have put you on hold.
The initial experience began with meeting for coffee
to discuss what the process would be. We met at a
local restaurant where she ordered a full meal and
chewed with her mouth open as well as talking the
whole time. If I was playing Guess this Mess in My
Mouth, I stood a good chance of winning.
Let me list my feelings after my first meeting and
then you decide if this coaching stuff was for me.
Coach was late to meeting
Coach said we would meet for coffee.
She ate a whole meal.
Coach has a notebook that was messy with
lots of receipts in it. (I like things neat, orga-
nized and professional)
Coach spent more time talking about herself
and how good she is at coaching.
Coach went through her life story and how
she got to be where she is.
Her clothes were wrinkled and looked like she
just got out of bed.
Coach asked me for advice on an issue.
Coach proceeded to ask me about my past
and gave me advice on a subject she knew
nothing about and advice was not even asked
for.
Then she said time was up and proceeded to hand me
what she would charge me and when we would meet.
Needless to say, I placed the paperwork back in her
hand and said I would not be needing her services as
I could get more coaching out of a baked potato than
her.
From that point on, I steered away from anyone that
mentioned coaching to me for many years. It left a
bad taste in my mouth and I ended up submerging
myself in books and conferences for many years al-
ways trying to be better than I was the day before. As
I learned, it seemed people came to me and I learned
the art of asking questions that would challenge oth-
ers to think for themselves. Someone told me I would
make a great Life Coach and I wanted to run for the
hills. I did, however, reopen that door and thankfully
it has been a wonderful experience for me having
several coaches throughout the years for me.
I researched the person and stalked her for a while
before I committed myself to her. I am thrilled to say it
has been a wonderful experience. I have used coach-
es and mentors for various areas of my life.
The greatest kicker is I am also a Life Coach. I eat with
my mouth closed though. All that my first experience
taught me is everything I do not do. My heart gets
thrilled when I see hope rise up in someone’s eyes or
hear the excitement in their voices when they find
clarity and purpose, the true beauty of coaching is
that each day, I reinforce my own clarity.
Here’s to my first coach who, by the way, is not coach-
ing anymore. Anyone surprised? I am grateful for her,
as I am a better coach today because of her! Here’s to
the good, the bad and the ugly! We can always learn
from everyone!
HOT PURSUIT NATION 23