Page 21 - Bondage Basics: Naughty Knots and Risque Restraints

Finding Your Role

When you’re first beginning to explore your kinky side, it can be difficult to know just what
soft limits: The boundaries over which a person may cross, if the situation is right. Soft type of role will fit you best, or whether in fact you’re one of those lucky devils that will
limits are fun to explore, but a person should never be coerced into going beyond what get just as hot wielding a whip as you will be on the receiving end of those tasty lashes.
he or she is comfortable with. You might get a kick out being spanked on occasion, but will you love being hogtied and

played with, only allowed to cum when your mistress tells you to? You might love to tie
submissive (or sub): A person who assumes a more submissive, passive role in a power your partner’s arms and legs to the bed to play with him or her, but are you ready for the
exchange. Although this is usually sexual, some submissives are service-oriented, in that responsibility of someone else giving himself or herself up to you totally?
they seek to serve a master or mistress in a practical way without any overt sexual power
exchange. It’s important to remember that there are a multitude of roles in BDSM and that the
whole spectrum of human sexuality can never be boiled down to just one or two narrow
subdrop: The “low” feeling that a submissive may experience after a particularly intense categories. That said, some people find great comfort in moving from one role to another,
scene or play session. Although correct aftercare can mitigate these feelings, the “down” as the boundaries therein can help them explore all possible experiences. A sub one day
state can last for hours or even days. might suddenly feel that he or she is ready for a 24/7 slave role and might flourish under
strict orders from his or her master. No one can ever tell you which role is right for you;
subspace: The dreamy, euphoric state into which submissives can fall during a particularly rather, the way to find your role is to experiment, keep an open mind, and try each one on.
intense scene or play session. In subspace, the rest of the world seems to fall away, and Like a good dress or a suit, you’ll likely know which one suits you perfectly as soon as you
the feeling of bliss can last for hours or even days afterward. try it on, but you may need to try a few different styles on in the beginning.

switch: A person who switches between top and bottom roles whenever they feel like You might still have questions after your first, second, fourth, tenth, or twentieth play
it. These are the most fun people to play with, as they can move between the two roles session. That’s okay; some people never feel comfortable putting labels on themselves and
according to need and desire. instead prefer to exist in the fluid, fluctuating space of sexuality that BDSM easily allows.
BDSM is a journey, and if you never quite find a destination, you’re still in for a hell of a
top: A person who plays a dominant role when required. A top may only play as top for the lot of fun.
enjoyment of his or her master, for instance, and may be more naturally a submissive.

total power exchange (TPE): A relationship in which one person (the slave) voluntarily
and consensually gives another (the master/mistress) total control and authority over
him or her. This is generally a 24/7 agreement and may be open-ended, or may last for
a finite time.

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