Page 82 - Bondage Basics: Naughty Knots and Risque Restraints
P. 82

The Power Play


                                                                                                                                                        No, I’m not referring to the situation your favorite hockey team finds itself in when a
                                                                                                                                                        member of the opposing team has a penalty (please forgive me, I’m Canadian), but rather
                                                                                                                                                        the exchange of power that goes on when two or more people practice bondage. This
                                                                                                                                                        exchange is at the crux of all bondage, and of all BDSM, too. This exchange is what makes
                                                                                                                                                        bondage so fulfilling and fun. For a top, like me, the feeling of having a person give their
                                                                                                                                                        liberty over to you entirely, even for a brief period, is heavenly; for a bottom, giving their
                                                                                                                                                        power over to another for a short session allows them to experience great pleasure. For a
                                                                                                                                                        rope bunny, being bound in rope brings feelings of freedom, euphoria, sexual fulfillment,
                                                                                                                                                        and joy. For a rigger, being in total control of another brings the same feelings.

                                                                                                                                                        All this exciting sexiness can occur because of a thick layer of trust padding any hypothetical
                                                                                                                                                        sharp edges. Without trust, bondage can be difficult and painful. But how do you know that
                                                                                                                                                        you’re going to be totally comfortable exchanging power with a potential partner?

                                                                                                                                                        One great (although somewhat embarrassing) way to figure out how you’re going to feel
                                                                                                                                                        in a power play with someone is to let that person blindfold you and guide you around a
                                                                                                                                                        public or private place. Let’s say that a new top wants to play with you, or that you and
                                                                                                                                                        your long-term girlfriend are trying to figure out your bondage roles. Go to a fetish- or
                                                                                                                                                        BDSM-themed event with your potential top, and tell that person that he or she is going to
                                                                                                                                                        have control over you for a little while. Your top should comfort and caress you to help you
                                                                                                                                                        ease into the situation, then slip the blindfold over your eyes and tie a piece of string or
                                                                                                                                                        wool (gently) to your wrist. Let him or her guide you around a little, with that person taking
                                                                                                                                                        the utmost care to describe what’s going on around you and make sure you don’t bump
                                                                                                                                                        into anything. If it’s working, you’ll feel a little embarrassed but a little turned on; if it’s not,
                                                                                                                                                        you’ll feel awkward and kind of anxious. Try it the other way around and see if that’s better.
                                                                                                                                                        If not, maybe that partner just isn’t for you. But don’t worry; there are plenty more kinky
                                                                                                                                                        fish in the bondage sea!












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