Page 83 - Bondage Basics: Naughty Knots and Risque Restraints

The Power Play

No, I’m not referring to the situation your favorite hockey team finds itself in when a
member of the opposing team has a penalty (please forgive me, I’m Canadian), but rather
the exchange of power that goes on when two or more people practice bondage. This
exchange is at the crux of all bondage, and of all BDSM, too. This exchange is what makes
bondage so fulfilling and fun. For a top, like me, the feeling of having a person give their
liberty over to you entirely, even for a brief period, is heavenly; for a bottom, giving their
power over to another for a short session allows them to experience great pleasure. For a
rope bunny, being bound in rope brings feelings of freedom, euphoria, sexual fulfillment,
and joy. For a rigger, being in total control of another brings the same feelings.

All this exciting sexiness can occur because of a thick layer of trust padding any hypothetical
sharp edges. Without trust, bondage can be difficult and painful. But how do you know that
you’re going to be totally comfortable exchanging power with a potential partner?

One great (although somewhat embarrassing) way to figure out how you’re going to feel
in a power play with someone is to let that person blindfold you and guide you around a
public or private place. Let’s say that a new top wants to play with you, or that you and
your long-term girlfriend are trying to figure out your bondage roles. Go to a fetish- or
BDSM-themed event with your potential top, and tell that person that he or she is going to
have control over you for a little while. Your top should comfort and caress you to help you
ease into the situation, then slip the blindfold over your eyes and tie a piece of string or
wool (gently) to your wrist. Let him or her guide you around a little, with that person taking
the utmost care to describe what’s going on around you and make sure you don’t bump
into anything. If it’s working, you’ll feel a little embarrassed but a little turned on; if it’s not,
you’ll feel awkward and kind of anxious. Try it the other way around and see if that’s better.
If not, maybe that partner just isn’t for you. But don’t worry; there are plenty more kinky
fish in the bondage sea!

82 Choosing Your Bondage Partner 83

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