Page 114 - Deception at work all chapters EBook

The Human Mind 55

Liars may also try to protect their personal space by erecting large barriers, such as crossing
their arms high on their body or over their genital regions, protecting themselves with a file
or standing behind a piece of furniture. They may also build protective barriers around their
desks, such as laying out files, fruit, drinks etc. in a set defensive pattern.

People also find comfort in occupying territory they believe belongs to them. For exam-
ple, board members usually take the same seat at every meeting, and if someone changes the
routine everyone becomes uncomfortable. The same applies to animals. Try entering a dog’s
kennel and see what happens.

There are also personal space rituals in many aspects of life. Watch how people behave
in lifts, toilets, on public transport or in queues. An obvious example is holidaymakers who
mark out their territory by throwing towels on sun beds. This is the human equivalent of dogs
establishing territorial rights over trees, lampposts and the neighbour’s car.

THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS Then you get it full blast: ‘You know
what’s up, you lecherous bastard. Who was
You are feeling really good because at your that girl you were talking to?’ Of course,
next door neighbour’s party his niece (who you know perfectly well who she means
was wearing a revealing black mini-dress but decide to play for time and admit
and had legs to die for) told you she found nothing: ‘What girl, I spoke to lots of girls.
elderly, tubby, grey haired men, who are I always speak to girls, they are much more
good at golf, a ‘real aphrodisiac’. What a interesting than that gawky accountant you
great night it was and to make matters even were talking to.’ Not deterred your wife says:
better you planned to play golf at 8.30 the ‘You know who I am talking about, the one
following morning at Wentworth. with that silly black dress and the fat, hairy
legs.’ You are sure your wife could not have
You return home and as you start taking heard the talk about aphrodisiacs and all the
off your purple flares and yellow Hush other stuff, so where did you go wrong?
Puppies you notice your wife has a face
like a ‘robber’s dog’. ‘What’s up dear?’ you
innocently ask, ‘another migraine?’

The answer is your body language and use of personal space. You stood too close, were
too frontally aligned and when you were talking to her, you were looking at her mouth and
neck. In short you were giving her all of the clues that you were in an amorous mood and it
serves you right.

If you think this is all psychobabble, why not try a little experiment.

A LITTLE EXPERIMENT he will try and change his position so that he
looks naturally to the right. Please try it.
If you have someone you don’t trust and
think he may lie to you, walk up to him and In one such experiment a local rogue
stand slightly to his left. This will force his builder danced around the room to get
eyes to move left. In this position, if the NLP himself into a position where he was to the
theories are correct, he is programmed to left of the interviewer. As the interviewer
access his memory and is more likely to tell resumed his position there was further
the truth. Then ask him some really nasty dramatic movement to get back into a
questions. Moving his eyes right (to contrive natural deceptive position.
access to his imagination and lie) will be
even more obvious than usual. It is likely that