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Editor’s note:
The Steve James Top

Five:
1. Respecs

2. Ropots
3. People buses
4. Self-portrait gallery
5. Tourist shoes (not
included in this book

205butnevertobe
Create interactive billboards that display
advertisements appropriate to the people in the
immediate vicinity. The companies controlling the
billboards would be fed GPS location information from
mobile phone operators as to the whereabouts of their
customers. Each person’s mobile phone account would
be translated as a consumer profile based on their

forgotten). postcode, billing tariff and phone usage. Adverts could

then be served to individuals or to appeal to the

majority of the potential audience at any one time.

Steve James
Editor’s note:
Musician, director and

world authority on
stupid ideas, Liam
Lynch, informed us
that this innovation
has been developed
in Japan at a cost of
millions of dollars

206underthequite
10 May 2001

Develop electronic-speech software for dogs, cats or
other animals. A device strapped to the dog would
monitor the animal’s heartbeat, tail wagging and other
recognisable body language. The physical signals would
trigger appropriate phrases to be called up from a pre-
loaded library of sound files. When a dog owner returned
from a day at work, for example, their pet would

exceptional name of excitedly greet them, saying, ‘Boy, am I glad to see you!’

‘Bow Lingual’.

David Owen

11 May 2001