Page 148 - Taming Your Gremlin A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way (Rick Carson)_Neat

gremlin into a state of temporary immobilization. With your gremlin
immobilized, the fear of unpredictability will become the excitement of
unpredictability. You will be in touch with your freedom to say precisely

what you mean. Knowing what it is you want to say and saying it clearly
and concisely is usually a good idea. Hemming and hawing is good for no
one and will seldom get you what you want.

When you communicate clearly and succinctly instead of hemming and
hawing, you will feel much more alive and you will open yourself to the
possibility of intimacy and warmth in your relationships. When you hem
and haw you avoid the potential for the growth and the unpredictability
inherent in every human relationship. Your relationships will become

predictable, superficial, and, above all, boring.

A relationship is a system and, as with all systems, when there are no
new inputs the system enters a state of entropy or degradation. Risk-taking
and new inputs into human relationships are essential if the relationship is
going to thrive and deepen.

Below are some rules your gremlin would love to have you follow, as
he knows they will ensure shallow relationships and perpetual

disappointment:

Use generalizations such as “we” and the impersonal “you”

or “people” instead of the term “I.”
Confuse feeling with thinking.
Confuse the world of mind with what’s actually going on
within you and around you.
Conceptualize problematic situations in such a way as to

make others responsible for your misery.
Smile when you are angry and sad.
Use “can’t” when you mean “won’t.”
Lead your life in accordance with rules and regulations,
and without taking into account your natural desires and
the current moment and situation.
Make an effort to keep relationships comfortable and
predictable; and, for goodness’ sake, don’t rock the boat.