Page 85 - Taming Your Gremlin A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way (Rick Carson)_Neat

Intimacy requires the ability to share the natural you with another and
to experience his or her natural self. You cannot be intimate with another so
long as your pure contact with him or her is interfered with by your act.

Allowing the real you to emerge and be experienced by another involves
allowing your body, your voice, your facial expressions, and your words to
express you, rather than your act, your self-concept, or your habits.
Removing these barriers leaves you exposed (which may be scary) and
available for love and contentment (which is exciting). Excitement almost
always underlies fear, and excitement is a prerequisite for fully enjoying
yourself.

THE PLEASANT PERSON ACT

Acting can be fun so long as you clearly understand that you are not your
act. A good act can get you some strokes, help you win friends, and help
you make a living. Some of the most uptight people I know have good acts.
So, puleeze, if you get into acting, enjoy it! Just don’t take your act too
seriously. You risk a feeling of real emptiness if you do. Acting should be
thought of as practical, as experimentation, as a good time; even as a well-
planned manipulation, as conscious pretentiousness, or as entertainment.

Some acts are, of course, better than others. You’ll be best served to select
an act that is consistent with the natural you.

The Pleasant Person Act is one of the most popular. I asked several of
my clients, students, and colleagues about this act. All were aware of it, and
some have used it as a base from which they have created their own unique
performing style. I was surprised by the degree of agreement I found among
those I consulted as to the essential attributes of the Pleasant Person Act.

Here they are:

Listen more than you talk.

Speak softly, but audibly.
Don’t repeat yourself.
Use no more words than are necessary.
Make eye contact without staring.
Pay attention to what you see.

Don’t chew your mustache (or anyone else’s).