Page 29 - Keralite Magazine _2020
P. 29
KERALITE APRIL 20 20 35
At her follow up appointment with the neurologist, The worst thing about neuro-disorders, such as
my mother was asked how she was doing. She said, dementia, is isolation. Due to the stigma, families
“My family, they are my eyes and my memory. As su er in silence. Dementia is viewed as a family
long as they are with me, I am neither blind nor secret. One that must be kept hidden from the
forgetful.” community. This is especially true in the Indian
community, where illnesses like these are perceived
That was an “ah-ha” moment for me. Her positivity
in the face of this dreadful disorder blew my mind. as a source of shame. There is more concern about
I shifted my focus from curing to caring. what people might think or say, than about the
people who are su ering. This leads to social
My mom has the most beautiful eyes. I had to be her isolation and decreased quality of life. This
eyes. I needed to do what I could to fulfill my avoidance of talking about it does not help anyone.
mother’s dreams. There is still a person behind that mask of dementia
who needs love and support. Falling sick is nothing
My mom wanted to travel, so I travel.
to be ashamed of.
My mom dreamt of doing community service, so I
serve. We can help each other by responding with
a ection and reassurance; o er an outing, call the
My mom loved to dance, so I dance caregiver, bring food over, drop by to say, “hello.”
I have the privilege of being her eyes. The humble advice I can give as a doctor and a
Too often, dementia cripples families and friends. daughter to those impacted by dementia is to focus
We don’t know what to do, so we do nothing. on joy. Spend time with the person you love; visit,
Rather than trying to understand life with dementia, hug, laugh, tell stories. It is an emotional journey,
we fear it. We forget that while caregivers su er, so but everything doesn’t have to be so serious. So my
do the loved ones with the disease. Each day is a mom forgets, repeats herself, talks out of turn, and
battle; fraught with a manic-like depression going that’s OK. She is still with us and we will continue to
from highs to lows. be her beautiful big brown eyes.
To learn how you can help, go to caregiver.org or
listen to the Beaumont Housecall Podcast: Caring
for Aging Parents episode.
