Page 49 - Hypnotic Writing - How to Seduce and Persuade Customers with Only Your Words

HYPNOTIC WRITING
I got a yes, I got a no, I got a maybe.
What do you think?
Was the letter hypnotic?
To me, this is not a hypnotic letter.
In fact, it is a terrible letter. I sent his $20 back, because he said
he’s broke. The only reason I did not burn this is because I need his address, which is on the back of the second letter, so I can send it back.
Why isn’t it a hypnotic letter?
My observation is, first of all, he got my attention, which is one of the key ingredients for writing good copy. He FedExd it to me; very important. Twenty dollars: very eye-catching.
It begins well: “I have an offer that I would like to share with you that will make you a stack of those $20 bills in one to two weeks.” That’s good; he’s speaking to me.
However, from there it is all about him. The first statement was something to the effect that he wants to buy a motorcycle. I do not care if he needs a motorcycle. He wants to buy it because he made a promise to a friend. I do not care that he made a promise to a friend.
The second one is that he has made bad decisions about money. He is broke. I do not care about that. I would care, proba- bly, if he told me in different terms, but a lot of people are broke. He’s telling me that he is broke and he wants to do something that is off-the-wall.
Third is that he is on vacation. I do not care if he is on vacation. He wants to make use of his vacation time and make some money. Then he is asking me to do a mailing to his list, and he is claiming he is a marketing specialist. Where is the proof that he is a market- ing specialist? So, this is full of doubts.
I am just thinking that this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then he wants to charge people on my list $5,000 to $25,000 to do marketing, which is what I do! Why would I send my people to him and then let him get half of the money that all should go to me?
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