Page 106 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

The nerve of some people. Thinking they are somehow enlightened and able to see the entire working of someone’s

heart. Claiming by my own words, testimony, confessions that I could not have loved my Joyselyn as much as I have
said. How could I not love a gift sent from heaven? This wonderful gift has stood by me through all my failing for

thirty-five years. Praying, holding me lovingly through all the hard times, and believing in me, lending me her strength
to stand up and try again. My Joyselyn was a straightforward thinker, telling me that I was not only hers but a child of

the living God. Always reminding me that He had a plan, a purpose, and someday I would be doing His will.

I let my gift, my Joyselyn, be my conscience most of the time. I wish I would have listened to her advice, taken her lead

more than I did. Maybe this person is enlightened. Perhaps it’s true. Maybe what I feel is not as much love for my
Joyselyn, but rather the undeserving love she had for me.

Sept. 28, 2020

I believe that grief, pain, and the many sorrows we suffer are roadmaps back to the Father. Without them, we become
distracted and live our lives day to day without concerns for an end. We forget that we have an expiration date. Some

will never know that they have a Heavenly Father that loves them and wants them to share His home. Some live in a

Roller Coaster and Cotton Candy world. The ride is exciting and the candy-sweet, but like all things, it must come to an
end. I woke up to this nine months ago when my life, my love, my Joyselyn, went to be home with our Father and King.

The emptiness my heart shares with me is profound. It has recorded thirty-plus years of what it thought was an undying
love—longing to recapture just a moment more, how it saddens this heart to look back and remember her loving words

spoken over me in prayer. Her faith and excitement, just knowing her prayers for me, were going to be fulfilled. That it
was the Father’s plan, purpose, and will for me. So, wish I would have walked that path with my Joyselyn before her

trip home.

Sept. 29, 2020
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