Page 80 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

I have noticed many people that are dating after their spouse has passed. Claiming they have much love left in their

hearts and want to share. I had much love in my heart, but it was all bought and paid for. That love is and has been
promised to one person. A person that helped shape me into the man I am today. Sharing with another would be

sharing the handy work of love waiting to greet me on the other side of this life.

Mar. 13, 2020

Three of the longest months. What a life sentence. Filled with failed memories. A sickness that will not go away. I still
walk the floors looking for just a glimpse of my Joyselyn's gentle face looking up at me from her reading and whispering

that she loves me. I keep trying to find words, words my heart knows don't exist. Any words I try to fit for anyone with
ears seem to be robbed of all life left. I am not making anyone's loss any less than mine. But for me, I have lost this life's

treasure. All that I have ever hoped for my Joyselyn. All that is left is for me to die.

Mar. 15, 2020

Raining outside this evening. The sound is a gentle beat that my heart tries to follow. My mind and body become

weaker with every drop that falls. This is a hurtful day. Looking at old memories, Joyselyn has lovingly placed in an old
shoe box. Rain or the tears… I wish one or both could bring some relief. I so miss my loving friend. Want so badly to

hold her in my arms. Bury my face in her hair, Breath her into my failing body. How long must I wait? Every day is a
missed opportunity to wake up on the other side. It seems I have missed it again.

Mar. 19, 2020

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