Page 143 - MY BABY GIRL JOYSELYN

This day started with a what-if question. A question very hard for this mind and heart to
comprehend or accept. Very unsettling to think that just maybe my once known

Joyselyn's mission on this earth, in this life, was complete and no more room beyond the
heavens gates for our spirits to reunite. Looking at all my selfish ways, all that I could

have given and foolishly did not, and how that might justify such an act.
I understand we are not given over to marriage in God's kingdom, but I can't help but

think that there is something more that we must share. The Father and I both know that

my once beloved Joyselyn has paid her dues. She has never been indebted to me. It has
always been my responsibility to care for her well-being, and I have been a total failure.

As much as I believe I loved her and still do, I realize that loving is not enough. I was
not acting on what my heart felt, nor had I sacrificed myself to see that my Joyselyn's

dreams came true, that I did not.

No one knows the Father's plans beyond this earth's grip, but I pray for His gift, more like
a loan that He shared with me, our Joyselyn; my prayer that He allows us to come

together once more in the new life yet to come. I will forever pray that it will be so. I
feel so lost without her. There could never be a more extraordinary gift in my life than

the Father blessing me with Joyselyn.

Thank you, Adonai, for loving this weak vessel of a man and shedding your blood for my

sins. Thank you for saving me and the countless blessings that You have graced me.

Mar. 17, 2021

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