Page 145 - MY BABY GIRL JOYSELYN
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Life will never be the same. Not having this gift of a wife, my Joyselyn, I am without words and no longer have an
identity of who or what is left. Remember having so much interest, and now nothing comes to mind. I have no will for
eating. I have lost 38 pounds after my Joyselyn left. Live off coffee, cigarettes, and ice cream. All scent of taste and
smell has left me—sleepless nights. When I do get a little sleep, I’m up at least ten times to use the bathroom.
Continuously checking to see how much blood is in my urine this time. I don’t view myself in the mirror anymore. The
last time I looked at my reflection, I appeared like a starving Holocaust survivor. It comes with age, many say. Who
would have guessed that old age sneaks up so quickly? So much wrong with me, and it seems the only thing that could
make it right is getting that invitation to meet Adonai and pray my Joyselyn’s spirit accompanies Him.
July 4, 2021
th
I just realized it’s July 4 , Independence Day. Being without the other half that makes me whole gives this day of
Independence a completely different meaning. No fireworks to display, no bells of freedom to ring. Just an unseen banner of
everlasting love celebrated in this heart. My Independence is so very lonely. Living as a dependent on the life and love of my
Joyselyn was real freedom in my life. How I miss being her Dependent.
My Last Entry
…Well, maybe not. 145