Page 30 - TPGFBAO First Draft (5th Ed)

motivation books. Adoption of assertive behaviour by a person having low

self esteem will lack congruence and consistency. He will himself be con-

fused and naturally send confused messages to others with his at times ag-

gressive and at times passive behaviour. The problem has to be tackled from

the root and not outward behaviour.

Second Step to Becoming Assertive

The first step is more difficult than the second. This step is easier. In fact be-

ing assertive is the natural behaviour of a confident person. We will assume

that you are accustomed to behaving passively. You are comfortable with

your behaviour and more importantly others expect you to behave as such!

You have to now start expressing your views calmly, clearly, firmly and polite-

ly. You will notice a change in yourself and so will others. Please be consis-

tent!

Points to Remember in Being Assertive

• It is vital to understand the meaning of assertiveness.

• Assertive responses are rational and thought out and not impulsive

ones.

• Impulsive responses are likely to be aggressive.

• In a onetime type situation, it is better to be passive than aggressive.
Example: Your boss asked you to do something just one time (which

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