Page 421 - She's One Crazy Lady!

‘The Lonely Goatherd’ was playing. We joined in, singling
loudly and over-emphasising the yodelling bits when you
would, with much vigour, heartily slap your thigh, as any
Austrian Goatherd dressed in lederhosen would have
done. You were so funny! Trying to drive, with tears rolling
down my face, through uncontrollable laughter was, I have
to say, incredibly hard, especially as you were oblivious to
my laughter and continued with the thigh-slapping. How
hilarious it was when we took your daughter (Zoë) and
her friend out with us one day and the song came on. We
sang and we performed – they disowned us! I remember
playing it and singing it with you when you were in hospital
– you were very poorly, but bless you, you still managed
the actions! “
So many memories – far, far too many to record here – but every single one so priceless – and ours!
When you became really poorly, the ‘anticipatory grief’ we were all experiencing stopped. Gone were the moments where we all hoped for a ‘miraculous cure’; where we hoped and prayed that you ‘might’ get better; that you ‘might’ come home... and in our minds imagining what life ‘might’ be like after losing you, for losing you was now a stark reality and we had to accept it. We knew our hopes were no longer possible and we were facing ‘real grief’. It was so hard to see you in so much pain and distress and so very tired, but there were
times when we were able to have little conversations
– we did a lot of reminiscing. You were worried that I
would be on my own. I assured you I would be ‘fine’
(that word again!) You sang to me on my birthday;
we had photos taken together. Every day was different
but every day seeing you was a day well spent and
treasured – knowing that day could be our last.
I was so glad I was able to be with you when you closed your eyes.
Over the years we attended a lot of funerals didn’t we? (We never talked about who would be at whose first). We became well-known to all the local Funeral Directors and always felt ‘good’ about paying our respects to the families who had lost loved ones and were kind enough to think of our charity at such a sad time by offering a donation in memory of their loved one. It was what we felt we had to do. Do you remember the time we went to two consecutive funerals in Wellingborough? The first was a large funeral and the line of mourners, when we walked out to offer our condolences to the family, was long ... and we were due at the next funeral, in the same chapel in the next
Trying to drive,
with tears rolling
down my face. ”
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