Page 50 - Nailah G Beraki-Pierre_Fear Is a Good Thing_v1_Neat

DAY 12

Fear of Intimacy

If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true
friend.

— Henri Nouwen

One survey I found says that 70 percent of adults have a fear of inti-
macy in relationships. We fear betrayal or disloyalty. We fear revealing
our weaknesses and imperfections. We are afraid to let someone see the
real us, without any filters. We’re all afraid of some form of intimacy.
And we may experience this fear at different times in our lives; it’s not
something we eventually outgrow.

If we allow this fear of intimacy to take over, we might have trou-
ble letting other people get close to us. It might eventually become an
anxiety disorder, requiring professional help to overcome. Many times
this is an unconscious fear that holds us back and makes our social circle
narrower than it could be. It’s important to examine the source of the
fear, and to explore the hurt.
Once the source of the hurt is explored, good fear can be a reality,

showing that future relationships are possible. They might turn out to
be good, and they might also turn out to be bad. If the relationship does
not work out, good fear can help you realize that you are still intact; you
are still fine. Facing this fear creates an opportunity to re-educate your
mind. You can start by setting a small goal. Start slow and be open to

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