Page 84 - Hey-book-2011-activities-RE4-fpage_Neat_HTML5
P. 84
081
smallest details. People don‟t know this, because he didn‟t speak about it
in public. But he answered hundreds and thousands of people who had
marital problems. He understood the modern woman, how a man should
treat her and what her needs are; things which I still don‟t hear so much
from rabbis nowadays”.
I ask to hear how the couple ended up dealing couples‟ workshops,
expecting a heroic tail. But he answers is simple: “We‟ve experienced
what every couple experiences. Acquaintance, friendship, love, getting
married followed by a slow fading of all of the characteristics of the
excitement and love, while problems, power struggles and other such
things creep in from every hole and crack. Except we were aware of it.”
His wife, Segal tells me, was never afraid to go to workshops and
therapy, “Like any psychologist does and loves”, but he despised them
himself. “I said that I, with my experience, don‟t need it”. Eventually he
agreed to go to one workshop. It was a workshop given by Hadi and
Yomi Shleifer, American Jews who have been hosting workshops in the
„Imago‟ technique in Israel for over 15 years. “We took this workshop,
and then I saw that not only is there hope and wisdom, but there is
exceptional exercising as well”. Later, Segal went through an intensive
one-year training to be able to host the workshops himself.
Segal doesn‟t think that the Imago technique reveals a new world. “If a
person wants love and a true acquaintance with his or her spouse, there
are things that you should do and things you should not”. These things
were not invented by Hendrix (the founder of the technique), the Shleifers
or by Yonatan Segal. “All of these things are written in the Torah and in
the Bible, and in all the Philosophies. But somehow it goes in one ear and
straight out the other, and maybe a more modern technique is needed to
persuade people that they should use these things”.
Segal explains that the name for the Imago technique comes from the
word „image‟. It essentially means the images of our parents, which have
RE 4 All rights reserved to Ulpan-Or (www.ulpanor.com) Do Not Copy!
Jerusalem: 02-561-1132 Tel Aviv: 03-566-1493 New York 1-646-393-4709