Page 656 - women-in-love

CHAPTER XXX

SNOWED UP

When Ursula and Birkin were gone, Gudrun felt herself
free in her contest with Gerald. As they grew more used to
each other, he seemed to press upon her more and more. At
first she could manage him, so that her own will was always
left free. But very soon, he began to ignore her female tac-
tics, he dropped his respect for her whims and her privacies,
he began to exert his own will blindly, without submitting
to hers.
Already a vital conflict had set in, which frightened them
both. But he was alone, whilst already she had begun to cast
round for external resource.
When Ursula had gone, Gudrun felt her own existence
had become stark and elemental. She went and crouched
alone in her bedroom, looking out of the window at the big,
flashing stars. In front was the faint shadow of the moun-
tain-knot. That was the pivot. She felt strange and inevitable,
as if she were centred upon the pivot of all existence, there
was no further reality.
Presently Gerald opened the door. She knew he would
not be long before he came. She was rarely alone, he pressed
upon her like a frost, deadening her.
‘Are you alone in the dark?’ he said. And she could tell

656 Women in Love