Page 26 - Outstanding Women Friendly Physicians (2)

Bitchin’ & Moaning

By Judith A. Habert
How is Everything Tasting?

Over the years of meetings at restaurants and personal outings flying across
with friends and relatives, it has become apparent that there is a the table filling
special language spoken only by those who work in restaurants: water glasses,
It must be part of the training for new employees. Of course most tea glasses,
restaurant training is necessary; we wouldn’t want the new waiters and this is
and waitresses to miss sessions on good customer communica- even more evi-
tion, order taking and food dispersement. Those waiters and dent if you are
waitresses who are able to remember everything ordered amongst having coffee.
a party of twelve are truly scary. I really don’t think they are taught When the plate
that, and quite frankly I know that they are going to get something starts to empty
wrong. Though I must admit some are amazing. You can order a the next ques-
hamburger, “hold the ketchup with grilled (not raw) onions, medium tion is “are you
well , no lettuce, mustard, the spicy kind not the Dijon kind, on a finished or are
bun…no wait make that lettuce wrapped with a side of French fries, you still picking
no never mind the French fries let’s make it veggies, but hold the on it?” Picking
broccoli and with it I will have an Arnold Palmer with a little more on it? Would
lemonade than iced tea, Splenda not sugar and a water on the I ever pick on
side.” There are waitresses who will get everything right, even the food? I guess
Splenda. So, before I complain about the training and service re- there are two
ceived by those hard working waiters and waitresses I have to say things more
most of them are truly amazing. I know I couldn’t do that job, even annoying than
on my best day, because I did their job and failed miserably. My this ‘picking
waitressing experience came when I was in my teens and work- on it’ question.
ing in the coffee shop of our local hospital. This was not a good First would be
26 experience. I remember being so excited because it was my first the server who
real job, and at the time hospitals paid three times minimum wage. doesn’t even
The excitement lasted about 20 minutes until I met my supervisor. give you a chance to put your fork and knife down when they scoop
Apparently, they failed to mention that Anna, who ran the coffee in from nowhere and slide the dish away from you, while you are
shop, had her sister, husband, and son working there. So I was in mid chew. Or maybe even worse is when the waiter or waitress
the only none family member. As such, guess who got all the dirty comes to your table and, seeing your completely empty plate ex-
jobs. I couldn’t complain because after all I was the new kid on the cept for maybe a sprig of parsley or a few lonely French fries, asks
block. The problem with working at a hospital coffee shop is most if you would like a box to take it home. Oh yes, I am planning on
often you served the same people every day, the hospital staff and eating a sprig of parsley for dinner, please wrap it up.
physicians. Some of these customers had some very unique idio- There are of course the over anxious servers who continually inter-
syncrasies. I can remember one gentleman who worked in inhala- rupt you mid sentence to make sure you don’t need anything else.
tion therapy, he would come in to the coffee shop every day around After twelve times there is the urge to say…”yes leave us alone for
three o’clock for his afternoon snack which consisted of two scoops five minutes”…but of course we realize that these servers are just
of ice cream, one chocolate and one vanilla. The vanilla had to be doing their job. In contrast is the waiter or waitress that disappears
on the bottom. No one mentioned this to me and he got extremely and you are left waiting 30 minutes to get your check. I still am
angry because I put the chocolate on the bottom. He called me a big fan of the Bubba Gump Seafood Restaurant and their use
over and told me it was not possible for him to eat this dish of ice of signs they place on every table. These signs say “Run Forrest
cream because I had plated them in the wrong order. He actually Run,” which means you don’t need assistance at the moment. The
made me throw out the ice cream and build him a new one to his other says, “Stop Forrest Stop, which means that any server within
satisfaction. The customer is always right! Well I learned that on sight of your table will show up and ask what they can do for you.
my first day of work. This is customer service at its best, since you have a say when you
Having said that, I totally understand how difficult a job being a will be approached and if in need of extra drinks, more napkins,
server can be. So I make sure that I tip well and do not abuse or a takeout box. You can just eat in peace while carrying on the
those I come in contact with. However, there is one thing that is conversation or business meeting - which was the reason for the
a bit annoying while dining in just about every restaurant, particu- lunch to begin with.
larly the franchised ones. There is a language that the servers are Then there is also the sing song manner in which some servers
taught and like robots each one repeats the same phrases. “How speak with your. It almost sounds as if they are singing your order.
is your meal looking” What is that suppose to mean? My burger But I suppose that is better than those who speak so quickly and
looks like a burger, my pasta is shaped as expected, my cola is ask so many questions that you are exhausted just from answer-
brown as it should be. I guess the answer then is ‘good.’ Within ing the list of questions pertaining to your order. In any event, if it
a few moments of receiving your food, having maybe taken one were not for these hardworking souls, robotically trained by their
bite, the next question comes, “how is your food tasting.” I guess it management, we would be forced to fend for ourselves, or even
tastes as it should. In between the questions is the need to fill any worse - stay home and cook. So forget all that I just said and thank
fluid on the table. In the midst of a conversation, pitchers come you to my next server who I hope has not read this column.