Page 31 - Outstanding Women Friendly Physicians (2)

A Career Quake

By Glenda Batzer

I recently lost my job at a research startup biotechnology com- Yet, I felt a sense of calm. I realized that it was time to mentally
pany. If you have any friends or family that work in non-academic move forward. I needed to take what I had learned at the last
scientific jobs, they will tell you that this is not an unusual occur- company and figure out how to apply it at the next, so that nothing
rence. I have been incredibly lucky in that after many years in the was wasted.
field, it was my very first job loss.
I had found a form of acceptance
After experiencing this earthquake in my career I have come to
realize a few things. The scope of emotions that I have felt the last I applied to quite a few positions, did phone interviews and even
few months have constantly rocketed me on an emotional roller- several face to face interviews. But there was still an element that
coaster that I thought had no end. I had not faced. It was FEAR.

Initially, it was pure shock. Not only was I shocked that my job Fear of what was next.
had abruptly halted, but all the people that I interacted with and Fear of what that next job would look and feel like.
were friends with every day, were torn away from me. It is espe- Fear that I was not strong enough to move ahead.
cially true when you work for a small startup; your co-workers are Fear that I was somehow damaged goods.
all in the same life raft with you. This amazing group of passion- Fear I would not have co-workers that I would be able to relate to.
ate, intelligent, funny and clever people always managed to pull
together to meet our weekly and daily objectives. But now, there One day I applied for a position that was a 70% pay cut for me.
was no gentle parting of When I told my hus-
ways. No chance to finish band, he looked at me
paperwork, data analysis and said, “You are be-
or update your scientific ing controlled by fear.
notebook from your last You are intelligent,
experiment. passionate and have
an amazing resume
No closure at all and there is a great job
waiting for you. STOP
After about ten days, the BEING AFRAID.”
shock wore off and I be- San Diego
came very sad. I cried at It was FEAR…….. Woman
the drop of a hat over stupid
little things. Not earth shat- After all that I have
tering life events, but that experienced in the
I forgot to buy milk. Not an past several months it 31
appropriate response, right? occurred to me that this
After a week or so I man- has been an emotional
aged to control my sadness journey not unlike grief.
and get a grip. I told you that I felt as
though I had been on
No More Sadness for me an un-ending roller
coaster.
I was walking on the beach
one day and I felt this I believe that every-
overwhelming anger. WHY thing happens for a
DID THIS HAPPEN? Why reason. I also be-
couldn’t they see the value lieve what Friedrich
in continuing the company? Nietzsche said, “That
We were making progress. which does not kill us
I was so mad. I would visit makes us stronger”.
my grandchildren to divert
my attention and after another week or so, the feeling of anger It is true. I feel stronger every day.
had dissipated.
I am happy to report that I have accepted a position at a medium
I had no more anger sized company.

I had already sent my resume out to over thirty different job post- I have stayed in contact with all of those amazing, passionate,
ings. But as I continued to search the usual job boards online intelligent, funny and clever people from my previous job and will
and through networking with peers, I began to realize I now felt continue to do so forever. I would like to dedicate this article to
nothing. It was as though the emotional part of my brain had been those 27 wonderful people I had the pleasure to work with for the
wiped clean. last 39 months. Thank you and I will always hold a special place
in my heart for each one of you.