Page 28 - Pure Magazine Issue 2

No, the same you: but with a happier more
satisfied life.
I don’t care for the concept of ‘a new you’, as
we are all fabulous anyway in our own way. For
me a much more appealing thought is, ‘I am
great anyway; life is good but I would like to
improve further. I don’t want to end my life
wishing it had been different, I want to be
proactive. I want to take the driving seat, and
not be a passenger in my own life,
Life is like creating a new garden. It evolves
over time with nurture, change, mistakes and
new knowledge until it becomes a place that
makes us feel happy and at peace. Like a
garden we are changing all the time, what
works for us one year doesn’t necessarily align
with who we are now. So, we reflect, re-
evaluate, pull up a few weeds, and a new
shrub and see what a difference it makes to
the whole garden. Each year we can start with
a clear garden and create something different
if we truly want too.
That is why at the start of a new year or new
season I believe it is important to reflect.
I start with the 5 questions below. (I like to sit
in silence and think about each question for
5/10 minutes, then I note down exactly what
my thoughts were. I do this for each question
in turn.
1) Where am I?
2) What has worked well this year?
3) What have I learnt?
4) Where do I want it to be ?
5) And what can I do daily to get there?
The reason I like questions instead of goals is
they automatically get the brain thinking of
answers;
Questions spark, creative, flexible thinking.
Taking on challenges with curiosity helps us
from worrying about the right way of
achieving the goal.
It helps you think of smaller steps, to reach
that goal so far in the distance it seems
difficult to achieve.
Underlying my questions are my core values;
we are all different, our values are the essence
of who we are, it helps us think what is truly
important to us. If we are out of alignment
with these, we will find it difficult to be happy
and satisfied with our lives. Hence I start with
choosing my five main values. This should not
be a deep thinking process but something
that comes to your thoughts immediately. A
subconscious thought, not something that is
over analysed.
Mine are; love, family, health, compassion and
learning.
What do I do next?
To further examine where am I in the different
areas of my life I do the following exercise:
I will score myself 1-10 in each of the areas
below (10 being the highest) but I cannot give
myself a score of 7 as this is an okay grade.
This means I am pushed to score myself with
either a 6 or 8. If I score a 6 or below for any
area that needs attention, an 8 would be
doing well.)
Relationships, Career, Finances, Recreation,
Spirituality, Self-Growth, Family Health,
Friends
I then focus on the 2 areas that I think are
most important to me, normally the ones
achieving the lowest score.
This is the same process I do with my clients.
We then set small steps, daily intentions and
habits to help us improve each area.
Goals without actions are wishes!
For example I will have a client say; ‘I want to
get my zest for life back’. I will then help them
change it to a question. How can you change
your daily habits to get your zest for life back?
Everytime we meet we will discuss and
decide what is going well, what isn’t and why
and changes that need to be made.
- 28 -