Page 87 - Once a copper 10 03 2020

With limited opportunity to clean most of the surface mud off my boots, I
didn’t look as sharp as other course attendees on the roof that Monday
morning. Sure enough, eagle-eye Inspector spots my boots and I get a
dressing down for my appearance. He bawled me out suggesting that I
couldn’t be bothered to make the effort with my kit. Foolishly I muttered a
response, which was along the lines of ‘if he had been out on the streets
doing real police work recently, like I had last night, he might understand.’
Ouch! From the anger in his voice I knew I would face some backlash for my
thoughtless disrespectful retort.

I passed the exam that week but came away disappointed with myself that I
only scraped the class average.

Back on D Unit the next week, I went and threw myself on my sword to Gaffer
Brown about my indiscretion to the training Inspector. I was worried that a
black mark on my disciplinary record might affect my probation. The Gaffer
said that if it came to anything he would speak up for me.

Sure enough a couple of days later I was summoned to see Chief
Superintendent Bagnall at Queens Road. I made sure my uniform was pristine
for the bollocking I was expecting. I prayed it wouldn’t appear on my record.
Red light changed to green and this time I wasn’t afforded a seat. I knew
Gaffer Brown must have chipped his two-pennyworth in for me because the
Chief Supt started off with red face, angry at the disrespect I had displayed. I
was so grateful and relieved when he mellowed, telling me that as it was my
first offence, and I had a clean record so far, he would not be putting
anything on paper about the matter and would just deal with it as ‘advice
given’.

Phew! Lesson learned.

The following Saturday Aston Villa were at home to Crystal Palace at Villa
Park. As a Small Heath boy, I’d always been a ‘bluenose’ Birmingham City
supporter, but my passion for the job had long since diluted my interest in
soccer. I was told that I was expected to parade at Queens Road on
Saturday for my first football duty. It wasn’t connected but my internal
paranoia told me it was my deserved punishment for a moment of stupidity.

Saturday came and at 1pm I joined the large group of officers from all over
the Division posted to football duty. We were addressed by PS Leytham
whose day-time job was training Sergeant for the D Division and PC Dave
Todd, whose day-time job was divisional plan-drawer. These two officers were
regulars at the Villa football matches and as they both worked Monday to
Friday 9-5, it was a nice little overtime (O/T) earner for them. The postings
were read out and it came to ‘parking and turnstile duties Witton Lane’ my
collar number was read out. Page87