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The Rule of Saint Benedict will have interesting implications for our
own shared church life. It’s rather ‘congregational’ with its

emphasis on deep respect for one another as equals. The ideal of
listening to one another as spokespeople for God is uplifting. God
speaks through His children, as well as through His Word.
Sometimes it can be hard to hear ‘God’ in one another’s
communication; almost as if we were trying to understand a
message delivered with a heavy accent. We all bring something of
ourselves to the message, making it possible to miss the wisdom of
God in everyday conversations when we get distracted by the
character or personality of the messenger. However, we are the
Body of Christ, and we need to learn to listen to our Body, just as
we need to learn how to listen to our individual body.

Perhaps ‘pillars’ is not the best word to use because the course
shows how each of the four disciplines weave around one
another. Covey, for example, speaks of how to listen to one
another effectively: “seek first to understand, then to be
understood.”

When we listen with the primary goals of deciding how to respond,
we miss the mark. The primary goal must be to accurately
understand the other person’s position first and foremost. If we
don’t understand this first, we will be responding to a
misunderstood message – the wrong message!

Conversation is often a form of summary. It leaves out much of the
information that would make more sense of the thoughts and
enable greater understanding. When we listen to understand
rather than with a view to replying, we can take a little more time to
mine the information beneath the surface summary. Asking
empathetic questions to discover more can often lead to a far more
satisfying dialogue where all parties feel understood and therefore
appreciated. Better understanding leads to better outcomes.

Like the Benedictines, let us listen more
deeply to one another within our commu-
nity and congregation. We might learn
something, and even hear the Voice and
Wisdom of God. Lex McKee

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