Page 17 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1
P. 17
Allowed Items:
• Guns
• Unlimited ammunition
• Pepper spray
• Military uniforms
• Miniskirts
• Titty-pink lipstick
• Regular cigarettes
• Fake foreign accents
• Selfie sticks
• Beer and whiskey
• Tattoos
• Adult film actresses
• MAGA hats purchased on site • Bleach
• Bibles
• Six-inch heels
• Low-cut dresses and blouses
Agents from an ultra-secret division of the Secret Service will screen all attendees to ensure that prohibited items are confiscated and destroyed prior to the owner’s admission to the rally.
Allowed items will be permitted at an after-party hosted by Hope Hicks and the president. The president’s wife Melanoma declined to join him on this campaign trip in fear of contacting Covid-45 a second time.
This story will be updated when the Third Lady snubs her husband again.
