Page 22 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 21, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
President Barack Obama visited Philadelphia today and delivered a stinging indictment of Donald Trump’s incompetence over the past four years as so-called president. He blasted Trump over his handling of the coronavirus pandemic, which is currently surging in many parts of the world with the U.S. at the top of the list.
Two weeks before Election Day, President Obama reminded the drive-in rally audience, “We literally left this White House a pandemic playbook. We don’t know where that playbook went. They probably used it to prop up a wobbly table or something.”
Trump is currently crisscrossing the country, holding multiple rallies each day in an effort to stop his campaign from hemorrhaging money, staff and votes. An anonymous source close to the campaign revealed that the entire operation was on its last gasp, “Everyone is running
for the hills; many are literally running because the campaign’s travel budget is close to zero, despite Trump’s secret Chinese bank account. Oops, my bad. I meant to say...oh forget it.”
Campaign financial woes aside, the man himself is in a heap of money trouble, failing to pay taxes and sending tax dollars to secret offshore accounts. President Obama cracked that he likely paid more in federal taxes on his first job at Baskin-Robbins than the piddling $750 Trump paid in 2016 and 2017.
Obama shuddered to contemplate his fate if he had a Chinese bank account while president, “They would have called me Beijing Barry!”