Page 51 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

You’re probably asking, “How will you know if someone is guilty of any of these things? Trust me, I know everything that’s going on in the government, I have my people who are watching and listening.”
“Then there’s COVID. COVID. COVID. COVID. The fake news media won’t tell you that it’s definitely going around the bend, but it is. I had it and here I am. Like Melania said about Christmas, it’s no big f—king deal. VOTE next Tuesday, that’s November 3. That’s also National Housewife Day. You housewives will love me even more after I send your husbands back to work next week.”
Squinting into the audience, the president pointed to a woman in the back and shouted, “You’re a housewife, right? You look like a housewife. I love housewives. C’mon up here and let me give you a big fat kiss.
It’s okay, you won’t catch anything, I can’t give you the China Virus,
I had the best doctors in the world, they cured me in three days and it didn’t cost me a damn penny! What’s your name Mrs. Housewife? Can I call you Wifey?”
An ashen-faced woman tried to cover her face, then made a dash across the Raymond James Stadium parking lot, while a dozen other attendees collapsed from heatstroke as the clueless president railed about no Christmas or 4th of July next year if Biden is elected.
This story will not be updated because there will be no next year for Trump.