Page 81 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

The president also admired Johnny’s animal magnetism and flamboyant style, which resembled his own at that age. According to a source close to the Third Lady, Donnie’s two sons never measured up on either account and they had zero chance of being groomed as their father’s successors. The source also revealed that the president’s favorite offspring, Ivanka, expressed extreme displeasure that Johnny appeared to be crowding out the Trump siblings for the president’s attention and favor. Recently, she was heard screaming obscenities at her father through the soundproof Oval Office door.
When asked for comment, Johnny responded via email, “Damn, Gina. Look at me! TBH, I’m the president’s main dude. I’m doing his mongo dirty work, no cap. He’s teaching me golf, lawsuits and how to make money. I’d do anything for the sir. He’s the G.O.A.T!”
To date, Johnny has axed nine senior administration officials. He reports directly to the president and his office is within shouting distance of the Oval Office. Like Donnie, Johnny is obsessed with disloyalty and leaks from longstanding “deep state” officials. It is rumored that Johnny follows Donnie around like a puppy, including to Donnie’s throne in the “Golden Lavoratory.”
This story will be updated if Johnny succeeds in firing Mike Pence.