Page 12 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1

July 30, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Today, the Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) announced that U.S. gross domestic product (GDP) fell 32.9 percent in the second quarter, an unprecedented decline in modern U.S. history. The percentage crossed into recession territory, but president Trump refused to
admit it.
As he walked from the Oval Office to a waiting golf cart, a pool reporter called out, “Mr. President, what is your reaction to these dire numbers?”
Trump, responded, “What a stupid question. These are fantastic numbers. You’re turning beautiful news into fake news. You should be ashamed of yourself. If I had not signed the CARES Act, the GDP would have fallen even lower, like down to 74 percent! I alone made it happen, a great happening for the American people, but you make it sound terrible.”
Mr. President, a follow-up if I may: “This massive contraction underscores the economic sacrifice the American people have made to slow down the spread of Covid-19 and avert even greater loss of life. Can you share what you and your family have sacrificed?”
“Let me tell you, Mr. Reporter, President Trump is doing this job for free. I should be getting $400,000 bucks a year, but I’m giving it back to the government. Do you see this blue suit and red tie? Well, I have only 14