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Is it any wonder that gay people don't want anything to The situation is confounded when it comes to being
do with the church? If the people are holding “turn or
burn” posters on the kerbside and then rush off to mass,
or praise and worship on Sundays, these are the very
people in need of counselling. The Bible implores us not
to judge, yet that gets tossed aside when prejudice and
emotions are at play.
So, the person who has a sexually identity crisis must
cope with so many issues. For that person, the world is
against him or her. Yet there is something inside that
person that needs to be addressed, urgently and
empathetically. That person, if a youngster, may be
lucky enough to have understanding parents who can
guide the son or daughter to a position of acceptance.
Often, however, there is a brutal denial that must coped
with on top of everything else. The situation then is very
dire.
But going back to the question “Am I gay?” which
admittedly sounds incredibly naïve, the possibility is
decidedly “Yes”. The very fact that you are questioning
the issue means that there is something there. Straight
people rarely have such issues. They don't even give it
a second thought. Also, just because you listen to
Barbra Streisand or Broadway showtunes non-stop
doesn't make you gay! There's a distinct possibility here,
but I jest.
Okay, there may have been messing about with
members of the same sex, but overall, that's all that it is.
It's easy to read all sorts of melodrama into those
situations, and they make for good plots for theatre or
screen, but often you'll be wrong. Again, not always, but
mostly so.
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transgender. Although this is, strangely, more cut-and-
dried than the other issues, it is the most challenging.
People on the outside become totally confused when
confronted with these situations, so don't even accept
it's a reality. They simply move on. They don't even
know, and don't care, what transgender is.
To put it in a nutshell, it is this – to identify as
transgender (or trans), you simply know that your
gender identity is not the same as the sex you were born
with. I say “simply” when it is anything but. It's no
wonder that people go “huh?”, and it's also
understandable that they have such feelings.
However, just because you may have these feelings
doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Today, the percentage of
trans people coming out is staggering. It seems more
and more are courageous enough to bring their personal
crises forward and are determined to do something
about it.
Everything becomes more complex when the trans
person does not identify with male or female genders. In
these cases, the gender is classed as “non-binary”. You
will have long left most straight people behind in a mass
of confusion and bewilderment, but don't let that deter
you. You know your issues and you don't have to hide in
the shadows. I can't imagine someone coming out as
trans, or anything other than straight, in the 60s, but It is important that you contact a LGBTQ centre and talk The medical trans issue is a hotbed of uncertainty. Yet
today it's a mix-and-match of specialities. about your issues with people who will understand. many are content following their procedures. The crucial
There are many such centres in South Africa's major factor involved here is the counselling. If any psychiatrist
Most know they are transgender from an early age and cities. Go online and you will find them. People at these or social worker is convinced that you are not ready or
choose not to do anything about it because of fears of centres will also advise you of counselling groups that unsure if this is right for you, the procedure will not be
reprisal. More and more, though, have found that if they you are best suited to. The point is, don't bottle it up done.
can't come out in today's mass realisation era, then they inside. That will only make matters worse.
never will. Some choose to have just a few of the medical options
It is vital, too, that you feel safe. If you are being and feel happy about that. The most important issue is
victimised because of your beliefs, seek help to be content as a trans person. Sexual and gender
immediately. Hence the importance of getting help identity make up most of who we are, so it's a must that
among LGBTQ friends. Don't forget you have rights like we get this right.
anyone else. The Human Rights Commission is another
body that ensures your rights will be protected. These If you are faced with any of the issues mentioned in this
rights are embedded in our constitution. article, it is essential to reach out. In this instance if you
have any depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation it is
Once you feel accepted and loved, you will be faced vital to contact SADAG on 0800 567 567 or the Triangle
with the issue of transitioning. Do you do this socially, Project on 021 712 6699.
legally, and medically? Many trans people only chose to
transition socially. Some will feel the need for a You will get immediate help and counselling.
complete transition and go the medical route. Many
don't do any of these options. If you're opting for the Good luck, and God bless! Remember, whatever you
social transition only, this will involve choices of are – straight, gay or transgender – you are a very
pronouns (she/her, he/him, they/them) and dressing special person and entitled to your place in the sun.
differently. You may also want to change your name.
If your transition involves medical options, this will mean
intensive counselling pre- and post-surgery. It is a move
that is not taken lightly by psychiatrists and surgeons,
hence the need for therapy to determine whether you
are totally sure this is the path that you want to travel.
This is even more crucial today following lawsuits
abroad brought by trans people against therapists and
surgeons, citing “rush jobs” when they weren't
completely ready and now wishing to transition
“backwards” to their previous sexual identities.
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