Page 46 - HaMizrachi #7 Purim

Rabbi Chaim Navon

Binge Relationships

Photo: Oren Barkai
n the last two years, the number that dictate what you watch, you at least worthy of the Chief Rabbi
of Israelis getting married through choose for yourself, at any given position.
I the Rabbinate has dropped by moment, from an unlimited range,
10%. According to the Rabbinate, the with no obligation, at your own pace. The world is pulling us to the Netflix
number of Israelis getting married You can even watch a whole season of model in our relationships as well.
in civil ceremonies overseas has also episodes in one night if you want. But there it bombs. In relationships,
decreased. There are more Israelis bingeing is poison to the soul. Total
getting married in Reform ceremonies It works for Netflix in TV, for Spotify freedom, constant choice, switching
but the numbers are small and do in music, and for Amazon, Ali with no commitment – that’s an
not affect the general trend. No, the Express and eBay in shopping: huge insurmountable obstacle for any
situation is not as catastrophic as it is in variety, freedom of choice, 24/7, zero meaningful bond.
the States, but it certainly is worrying. obligation. To receive love and devotion one has

The Ministry of Religious Affairs The Netflix approach also works to give love and devotion. Under the
suggests that it stems from a “dramatic somewhat in data. When I was a child chupa we bless bride and groom that
rise” in the number of unmarried doing a project on Norway, I had to they should be like Adam and Eve in
couples living together. But that’s not write to the Norwegian Embassy and the Garden of Eden: she should always
accurate. According to the Central beg them to send me some material. be the only woman in the world for
Bureau of Statistics, there were 83,600 They did. In Norwegian. It’s so much him, and he should be the only man
unmarried Jewish couples cohabiting easier to collect information today. But in the world for her. To reach this
in Israel in 2014, and in 2017 there we often tend to get confused between level, they must have already begun
were 82,600. This is approximately 6% information and knowledge. to behave like that: turning off the
of all Jewish couples in the country, For example, you take a blood test and Netflix-emotions and dedicating
themselves to each other.
and that number is dropping too.
That means many more Israelis are one of the values is abnormal. It always More and more people are finding
living alone and their relationships are is. The next step is to search on Google themselves jumping from one short
perhaps incidental and occasional. for what that means. You then reach the relationship to another. It’s not
conclusion you’re about to die. About
Yes, Israelis are part of a global trend in a year ago, a beloved relative of mine necessarily their fault, and they do
not always choose this lifestyle. It’s
this too. Historian Stephanie Coontz, told her husband, “I looked on Google, worth listening to them though, and
in her important book, “Marriage, a and it seems I have a disease with a trying to help those who are genuinely
History,” says that she intended to 50% chance of death.” To which her searching for the perfect match. Look
write about how the current marriage husband replied, “Lucky you! All the at the people around you and lend
crisis is not exceptional, that the rest of us have a 100% chance and you a helping hand where you can. But
conservatives are exaggerating, that only have 50!” And then they went to also be aware of global trends. A huge
there have been similar trends in the doctor, who told them they had got mountain of loneliness is rising higher
the past. But then she discovered it wrong and everything was fine. The and higher in our world, and it’s a sight
that there have never been so many beloved relative is alive and well, and that crushes my heart.
people who live alone. So many short has almost finished cleaning for Pesach.
relationships, so much loneliness and (This article first appeared in Makor Rishon in
so much isolation. Can we really replace decades of Hebrew.)
medical experience with 30 seconds on
It’s a pattern we see in many areas of Google? Rabbis also have to deal with Rabbi Chaim Navon is a renowned
our lives: short, diverse relationships, similar issues, with people looking up educator and author. He wrote a book
with no commitment. That’s the “Umbrella permitted on Shabbat,” or (in Hebrew) about Rav Soloveichik's
Netflix secret. Instead of committing “Kitniyot Pesach Ashkenazim Kulah teachings on relationships, sexuality
yourself to a number of TV channels (leniency),” thinking themselves and family

46