Page 50 - Likutei Tipshim

In the days of the temple, if a Red Heifer was nowhere to be found, the Kohanim would Mr. Y. M. I. A. Victim, asking the person who took his sefer on hilchos genayva, without
obtain two oxen, dye them the appropriate red, and sacrifice them. Thus was how CO2 or
“Korban Dye Ox Hide” was discovered. If the oxen were identical you could say they were
Korban Copies.
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Having a hard time balancing the mitzvah of “ad dlo yoda” (drinking until you can’t
differentiate between Haman and Mordecai) and the mitzvah of “shomer es nafshoseychem”
(watching your health)? MADD (Mechanchim Against Drunk Dreyers) is starting a
designated drinking kollel. For the reasonable price of $1.00 per ounce, our yungah “lite”
will keep you in mind as they drink. Now you can be yotzei the mitzvah and still avoid the
Shushan Purim hangover.
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Halachic Corner
Zmanim for Purim 2007 / 5767
Time To Start Cleaning Up Local Government:
According to the Mayor After the next election
According to Previous Governor Ryan Pardon?
According to the President of the Cook County Board If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
One of the big issues facing us today is how to clean a computer for Pesach. In particular, the
cookies that are on your hard drive. First, all the cookies have to be deleted and then the
computer must be kashered. Some people insist on libun using a blow torch. Others say
hagala, immersing it in hot water is enough. However, the consensus of most of today’s
poskim is that the best way to kasher a computer is to disconnect the internet.
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This Years Likutei Tipshim is Sponsored by:
Stan Kutz and Charlie Crew announce the opening of their barber shop. If you are looking for
the latest hair styles come to Crew-Kutz Barber Shop.
The Nigunner Rebbe’s latest CD will be released this coming Rosh Chodesh. It includes his
newest compositions: bum-ba-dee-dee and yum-bi-dee-bum as well as his classic vai-di-bai
and his unforgetable yum-dai-bim.
Having trouble with your punctuation are people complaining about run on sentences in your
written reports the Talmud Bavli School of Punctuation and Grammar is pleased to offer their
centuries of experience call 1-800-GRA-MER for a schedule of classes
Save the Date - July 24, 2007 for The Neturei Karta annual dinner. This year our Honoree will
be The Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Olmert, for all his efforts in furthering our agenda.
Mr. & Mrs. Prophet wishing much luck to our son Seymour on the opening of his financial
planning office. If anyone is looking for a solid investing strategy, think of Seymour Prophet.
permission, to please return it. He can be reached via email at shlamazel@aol.com
Mr. Hyman Goldberg and Mr. Gene Schwartz are pleased to offer to the kosher community
the first glatt kosher body wash. When looking for the perfect body wash, think of Hy-Gene
Soap and Body Wash.
The Midos Committee of Chicago is once again having their annual Anivous Award. The
winner will receive a $5,000 cash prize and will be honored at our banquet which will be
broadcast worldwide. If you would like to be considered for this award, please submit two
letters of recommendation as well as a 1,000 word essay entitled “ Why I think I am the
th
biggest anav in the city”. All applications must be received no later than the 15 of Adar for
serious consideration.
Are you addicted to your cell phone? Does the thought of being out of touch for 15-45
minutes 3 times a day make you panicky? Designer Tones is happy to introduce Special
Ring Tones for Special Occasions. Now, you can be in the middle of davening and with
our new ring tone that sounds like a davening mumble, no one will be disturbed and you can
stay in touch with all your important contacts. If you are at a bris, and want to stay
connected but don’t want to disturb the mood, our “Babies Cry” ring tone will be perfect.
And now just in time for the new wedding season (between Pesach and Shavous), our
“Sounds of a Wedding” ring tone. When that important call comes in during the Chupa, it
will sound like a soft cough. For more information or to start your subscription, contact us
at www.BishviliNivrahHaolam.com
Save the date! How many times have you been told to save a date and have no place to save
it? The Community Calender in conjunction with Tupperware Inc. is offering containers in a
variety of sizes to enable you to save dates both big and small. Anniversaries, birthdays,
weddings, even shul dinners. There is a size just right for each one.
Call 1-DON-TFO-RGET.
Help Wanted: The Cook County Board has several openings in its administration and
accounting departments. Interested parties should send a current resume, letter of
recommendation from previous employer and a family tree showing how you are related to
Todd.
From the people who brought you the Kosher Lamp, we would like to introduce you to the
latest innovation to enhance your Shabbos, The Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device.
No wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so
easy to use, even a child can operate it. It may be used at any time merely by opening it.
It never crashes or requires rebooting. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to
any sheet and move forward or backward as you wish. For more information check out our
website www.BOOK.com
The Chicago Chesed organization is pleased to offer our latest of gemach, “ The Snow Lawn
Chair Gemach”. Next time it snows and you are in need of something to save your spot,
call us at 773-ITS-MINE.
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