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PARENTING

Rabbi Elisha Aviner Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

The Dog Ate It

“Could you edit my English essay?” “I Patience __ appropriate time on homework, and
need help with my algebra.” “What have them do part of the work, say,
do you know about the Industrial Non-judgmental __ every second math problem.
Revolution?” “Can you review with Ability to give undivided attention __
me?” Set goals for your children, but try
When I conduct parenting classes hard not to compare them to their
he nights are a blur of questions on effective homework techniques, siblings or to other children. Maybe
and a clamor of voices as you I often ask parents to self-assess in your friend’s child is very committed
Ttick off the days until summer these areas. The vast majority of to and excited by learning. Don’t
vacation... parents maintain that the last three expect your child to respond in similar

Homework can be a major source of attributes – patience, non-judgmental fashion. Just focus on what’s special
about your child.
struggle between parents and children and attentive – are far more important
of all ages. But that need not be the to them than expertise. After all, the It is difficult to force your teenagers to
case. questions they are posed are not that be someone they're not. You can help
complicated. Therefore, the first order direct them but, as the Vilna Gaon
As with any other challenge, half the of business when doing homework cautions us, it is nearly impossible to
battle is to honestly and reflectively with your child is to make every effort change their basic nature. Don’t hurt
assess the situation. The following to present yourself as a resource, not a them or yourself by trying. If your
analogy may help you to understand tester. teenager is unmotivated, harness
some of the do’s and don’ts of effective the power of incentives. At all ages,
homework time with your children. Your attitude to your adolescent’s incentives can be very effective.
Walking a mile in your child’s shoes school and homework is another Rambam speaks of long-term and
may, in fact, help you gain insight into important factor. If you are frequently short-term goals with children. He
the challenges you and your child face critical of your daughter’s teacher, cautions parents not to confuse the
as homework time approaches. if you are dismissive of your son’s two, and not to expect all children to
English studies, your children
For the past 10 years, you have hired may adopt the same attitude. It is be self-motivated at a young age.
an accountant to prepare your tax important that you model respect If you find that you have neither
returns. This year, you decided to for their studies and for their faculty academic tools nor the requisite
try to fill out your 1040 tax forms members. Your child is entitled to patience to help your child effectively,
on your own. You attended a three- get emotional and perhaps indignant consider hiring a tutor. Do not
hour seminar but you still have some about something their teacher may allow homework time to become a
questions. Who do you ask? You have have said or done that day. Calmly battlefield. Don’t replay the same
some friends who are knowledgeable listen to what your child has to say. scenario daily. Your relationship with
in the field of tax law. Some are Try to present an alternative view of your child is far too important to
brilliant and very knowledgeable but things. Try to have your child step have it eroded by daily struggles over
impatient and distracted. Others are back a bit and remove the emotion and homework.
average in their knowledge but are anger from their reactions.
more patient and focused. Which One final point: use this time to
qualities most inform your decision? If your child is overwhelmed with instill in your child a lifetime love
the amount of homework they have, for learning. Try not to ‘only answer
As an exercise, please list the contact the teacher. If most of the the questions,’ but rather add color
importance of each quality below, classmates are able to complete the to the canvas of your child’s learning
rating it from 1 to 10, with 10 being homework in less time, you may experience. Good luck!
the highest score: choose to look into this matter more Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is an educator, author,
Teaching skills __ carefully. In the meantime, perhaps and child safety advocate. He conducts
consider asking the teacher to accept parenting workshops in Jewish communities
Acknowledged expert __ a note from you that your child spent around the world

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