Page 48 - HaMizrachi RH-YK 5784 - North America

Stonewalling of the Heart:

The Shofar’s Cry for Hashem

Rabbi Josh Lehman

hat object plays the most command you this day to love Hashem still lean into whatever emotion we are
important role in Judaism? your G-d, to walk in His ways, and to experiencing and remain engaged with
The shofar announces its pres- keep His commandments and His stat- Him. The one thing we must never do is
Wence at every major juncture utes and His judgments: then you shall turn our hearts away from Hashem. We
in Jewish history. From the giving of the live and multiply: and then Hashem your must not stonewall Him and cut off our
Torah to its eagerly awaited blast that will G-d shall bless you in the land into which relationship.
symbolize the arrival of mashiach, and its you go to possess it” (Devarim 30:15–16). This is the true significance of the shofar.
pivotal role on Rosh Hashanah, the shofar The parasha then proceeds to illustrate
is more than just an object; it is quite lit- the curses that result from the opposing The ram caught in the bush was not
an afterthought of the story of Akeidat
erally our past, present, and future. behavior, which one might presume to
be hatred towards Hashem – the natural Yitzchak, but the bearer of a crucial lesson.
Surprisingly, the source of the shofar The ram represents Avraham’s ability to
in the Torah is nothing more than an opposite of love. However, intriguingly, “raise his eyes” and seek out Hashem,
the parasha depicts the opposite of love
afterthought, an epilogue in the story of quite differently: “But if you turn your engaging Him even when not commanded
Akeidat Yitzchak. After the test of Akeidat heart away, so that you will not hear, but to. The shofar represents our desire for
Yitzchak, we learn “And Avraham lifted shall be drawn away, and worship other closeness with G-d, even when we are
up his eyes, and looked and behold behind struggling in our relationship with Him.
him a ram caught in the thicket by his gods, and serve them; I announce to you This is why we cry out to Hashem with
this day, that you shall surely perish, and
horns: and Avraham went and took the that you shall not prolong your days upon the shofar on Rosh Hashanah.
ram, and offered him up for a burnt the land, when you pass over the Jordan Some years, on Rosh Hashanah, our rela-
offering in place of his son” (Bereishit to go to possess it” (Devarim 30:17–18). The tionship with Hashem is inspired and
21:13). This ram, offered by Avraham, is
the origin of the shofar. But why did this curses do not arise from hatred toward passionate, while other years it can be
waning, confused, or even carry resent-
G-d, but from turning our hearts away
ram, a sacrifice that was not even part from G-d. The opposite of love is not hate ment. The shofar tells us that no matter
of the test of Akeidat Yitzchak and was but rather indifference. where our relationship with Hashem
not commanded by Hashem, become the currently stands, we must remain in the
source of the shofar blast that resonates Dr. John Gottman, renowned for his
throughout our history? groundbreaking research on relation- relationship. We must engage G-d where
we are and refrain from turning away
ships, discovered a similar phenomenon
Parashat Nitzavim, which always precedes among married couples. He pinpointed from Him. For ultimately, Hashem wants
Rosh Hashanah, offers insight into the only one thing from each of us: rachmana
significance of the shofar. Chapter 30 four negative communication behaviors liba ba’i – He only wants our heart.
that prove detrimental to any marriage,
describes the blessings and curses that are allowing him to predict divorce with
set before the Jewish people. While they
are similar to those presented in Parashat an astonishing 93.6% accuracy. Among
these behaviors is “stonewalling,” when
Re’eh, a glaring difference emerges. In Re’eh
we are told that our blessings and curses individuals withdraw from interaction
and emotionally shut down. Surpris-
hinge on our ability to properly fulfill the ingly, Gottman found that stonewalling
commandments. Conversely, in Parashat
Nitzavim, the blessings extend beyond is far more harmful than fighting, which, Rabbi Josh Lehman
despite being unpleasant, signifies active
mere reward for performing mitzvot; we is a graduate of Mizrachi's Shalhevet
are told that we must also love Hashem. engagement in the relationship. and Musmachim programs. He and
“See, I have set before you this day life The same is true in our relationship with his wife Rikki are the OU-JLIC rabbinic
and good, and death and evil; in that I Hashem. Ideally we want to love G-d, couple at the University of Maryland.
but even if we struggle to do so, we can

48 |