Page 122 - Grammar for Great Writing B

ACTIVITY 11 Steps to Composing

Read the paragraph. Then follow the directions in the 10 steps to edit the information
and composition of this paragraph. Write your revised paragraph on a separate sheet of
paper. Be careful with capitalization and punctuation. Check your answers with the class.

NARRATIVE PARAGRAPH

Frogtown

1 Near Los Angeles, there is a small town alongside the Los Angeles River that most
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people call Frogtown. Frogtown is not its official name, though. There aren’t many
frogs there now, but at one time there were thousands and thousands of very small,

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green frogs there. There were so many frogs there that all the streets and yards were
covered with them. The streets and yards being covered with frogs lasted until the
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1970s. The frogs started disappearing then because suddenly there were lots of large
American bullfrogs in the area, and American bullfrogs eat small frogs. At that time,
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farmers were raising American bullfrogs to sell to restaurants for their frog legs.

8 However, eating frog legs went out of fashion, so the farmers released their bullfrogs
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into the wilderness. The bullfrogs found their way to the Los Angeles river. Then the
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bullfrogs found the small green frogs in Frogtown. They ate them. Then there were
hardly any frogs left in Frogtown.

1. Combine sentence 1 and 2. Change Frogtown in sentence 2 to even though that
and delete the though at the end of sentence 2. Add a comma before even though
to make this long sentence easier to read.

2. In sentence 3, change aren’t to avoid contractions.
3. In sentence 3, add it is called Frogtown because after but to clarify meaning.

4. In sentence 4, add at times before the streets and yards for accuracy.

5. In sentence 5, change The streets and yards being covered with frogs to This to
better connect the sentences and avoid repetition.

6. Add the adverb phrase when the frogs started to disappear from Frogtown to the
end of the sentence 5 to draw attention to the next event in the narrative.

7. Add the question Where did the American bullfrogs come from? after sentence 6 to
better connect the ideas in the paragraph.

112 Unit 8 Writing with Adverb Clauses

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-200-203
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