Page 178 - Louisiana Loop (manuscript Edition)

It’s a Bird , it’s a plane…….
I don’t know how many people actually go thru some of the experiences I do (though after
meeting “Big Momma” “Greyhound Live” “Dr Pepper” and host of others in the
Greyhound hostel, I imagine more than will admit it), but I have to say traveling in your
PJ’s is not the way to go in the winter.

My wife dearly wanted to capture a photo of me getting off the boat, I mean bus in Salt
Lake City looking like a ………...well ……….looking like I did so thanks to LT I have a
rough extract of what I went thru traveling on the nations other source of transportation:

“The Greyhound Bus”
Now I don’t really want to given into cliché’s like “going to the dogs” ‘it’s a dog eat dog
boarding line’ the bus stations “Dog pound” or insult dogs by comparing them to my
experiences with greyhound but after getting “Peppersprayed” “Evicted” “ Green carded”
herded, huddled, hustled, chilled, thrilled, sleep deprivation, threatened, laughed at,
laughed with and laughed a lot……….I gotta admit as often as still use it a lot……...there
is nothing quite like the experiences of a Greyhound Bus like traveling cross country and
setting records for missing connections to see just who will win the Great American Bus
Race after spending multiple 12hr stints in bus stations across America.
I am only half Kidding
Baton Rouge Louisiana to Salt Lake City Utah no matter how you do it except by plane is a long trip. Salt Lake City to
Baton Rouge to begin with was along trip and with shipping cargo added 3 days waiting in a bus station for each
package to arrive well after I did. (maybe next time go camping or something while waiting……..but Baton Rouge you
don’t just arbitrarily hang out anywhere after dark, even people who live there say that).
So yes even in the beginning it was an experience that had long bouts of getting to know Greyhound intimately.

In the end missing 3 bus connections counting my 4am start in Baton Rouge some people might say was a bit extreme or
atypical of the normal operations of our national carrier service, unless like me you ride Greyhound a lot. You learn to
have a sense of humor because after all the people who work there are people too and they like all of us are doing a job
as best they can.
But in this brief overview what I really want to discuss was my briefs.

You may not realize this but if you get rescued on a river where all your gear went in the river and the only clothes you
are wearing are the ones you were wearing when rescued, if in good condition, then YOU HAVE NO CLOTHES.

In other words because of the frigid water, when in the ambulance I was fitted and decked out in the latest designer wear
from “bag em and tag em” clothiers, the latest in paper recycling.
Thank God for the hospital staff who took what clothes I had and washed what I had and got some donated clothes from
a neighbor and gave me ‘new underwear’ a few T’shirts and a couple pair of shorts. Being 82 in Donaldsonville with my
broken sandals that had separated at least with a rubber band holding them together I was ready for the local area…….,
EXCPET HOME WAS IN THE TEENS AND TO GET THERE WAS GOING TO GET REALLY COLD

So long story gets longer in the chapter but I wound up wearing three T’shirts under my “dress blues” , trash bags under
the slipper socks in my broken sandals, and answering questions like “Are you a Doctor?” “Did you just get discharged
from hospital?” “Are you Mental?” “Dude, what’s up with the blues?”

If it weren’t for a bright orange beanie I got cheap and a ambulance blanket I was given I might have frozen before I got
home…….as it was I was certainly a hit on the Red Carpet in every Greyhound Bus Station we spent 12 hours in.