Page 19 - Nihil Alchemia CRUCIBLE Issue One MAY 2020 Flip Book

I am standing at the door, looking at my I feel myself clamming up and my head going
reflection on the glass staring back at me. dizzy. The plastic smell is mixing with the
The white glow covering half of my face and sweat dripping from my face. I know I need to
my eyes struggling to find space on it. I can’t buy food but my mind is telling me to leave
smell anything. The warm breath coming as soon as I can. The urge to rip the mask
rapidly from my mouth begins to suffocate off is clouded by the thoughts of others
me. I can taste the plastic. Suddenly, I can’t who caught it. I am standing paralysed in
help but think of a swimming pool. That the frozen food aisle with my eyes glued

nerve-wracking moment when you are about to the floor. In this moment, I realise the
to dive in the deep end and the world goes everyday things that were so repetitive,
silent. All you can do is hold your breath like shopping, all of a sudden turn into mini
and swim until you come back up. The glass battlefields. Each person comes armoured
door slides open in front of me and I take a and protected by their own white cage
deep breath. I think to myself, “I am ready to hanging over their mouths...
jump in.”

I begin my solo race amongst the aisles. My

eyes become my defence, I keep my distance
as I scan people for the virus.The voices
around me create a murmur as I rummage
through the salad bags in the fridge. I take a
moment to come up for air and lift the mask My name is Sarah Yule and I am
from Scotland. I studied His-
slightly from my mouth. I take a quick exhale panic Literature in the beauti-
followed by another deep inhale as I release ful seaside town of St Andrews.
the mask back on my face. I try to focus on After graduating last year, I
the softness of my t-shirt but it slips from moved to Spain to teach English
my sweaty fingers. All I want is to feel the and now I am living in Portu-
warm embrace of the trees again. Instead, gal as a Freelancer. My passion
is creating stories full of magic
I keep seeing eyes coming at me from every and folklore. I enjoy children’s
angle, guarded by the white masks caging writing and have recently creat-
people’s mouths. I feel trapped. The anxiety ed a fairy tale called, ‘Rainbow
is drowning me and I can’t swim through it. Tights’ which I am making into
a comic.