Page 102 - Family Life Student Textbook

For instance, parents should take great interest in making sure their children do their very best in their
school work. We should help them discipline themselves to arrange their priorities so that the necessary
work gets done first. Then, they can be rewarded with free time to choose whatever they want to do.

3) Source:

Parents are to be responsible to care for all of our children's needs of love, spiritual growth, wisdom,
support, food, money, and knowledge when they're young. Using boundaries is a good way to encourage
them to take over their own needs and become independent.

If parents give without boundaries, children learn to feel entitled and become self centered and demanding.
They become ungrateful. If parents hold resources too tightly, children give up and do not develop the hope
of reaching their goals.

Parents have three avenues of influence.

1) Teaching:

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 “These commandments that I give you today are
to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about
them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,
when you lie down and when you get up.”

You will teach your child many small tasks such as tying their shoe laces. But
you also need to teach him how to set and observe boundaries in his life. God
has placed certain boundaries in your life to help you from doing things that
will have very negative consequences in your life. Children need to learn how
to respect and value boundaries. They need to learn how to say “no” to
themselves and to others, in order not to cross those boundaries.

Do not be afraid to use the word “boundaries”. For example, you could say
something like, “Jill, we have a boundary in this house that screaming when
angry is not OK. You can feel angry, and talk about your anger to me, but screaming bothers other people. If
you cross the boundary of screaming, the consequences will be losing play time after school for that day.”

Your child can learn that they are responsible for their own behavior. This means that they must accept the
responsibility for cleaning their room, getting good grades, table manners, and controlling their temper
tantrums. They will not be able to blame the lack of accomplishment on anyone else.

Our goal is to teach our child to take responsibility for their own actions and attitudes. As they grow older,
they will want to insist on their freedom to choose to do whatever they want. Because of this, they must be
taught at a younger age that while they are free to choose their actions and attitudes, they are not free to
choose the consequences of those choices. For instance, when they are adults, they can choose to not go to
work this week, but they will have no choice in advoiding the consequence of losing their job. They can
choose to become angry and yell at their boss, but again, the consequence will be to lose their job. They
may choose not to grow any food for themselves to eat, but the consequence will be that they will be very
hungry and may starve.

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