Page 106 - Family Life Student Textbook

We are human beings and we make mistakes. When our child
realizes that we have not handled the situation well, we need
to apologize and ask our child for forgiveness. Sometimes we
overreact or falsely accused them. Ask them to forgive us.
Then allow them to hear us pray and ask God to forgive us.
This will make a very big impression upon our child.

The goal is to set and enforce boundaries without becoming
upset as a parent. We never want to discipline a child in anger
or in strong emotion. Sometimes a parent may need to calm
down before they discipline their child.

We always want to communicate to our child that we are
disciplining them because we love them and because we want
what is best for them. We want them to grow up to be responsible and productive individuals.

Do not provoke your children

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the
training and instruction of the Lord.”

Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

Parents can provoke their children by asking them to do something that we as parents do not do.
Sometimes we promise our children something and then do not carry it out. Sometimes we are inconsistent
in what we say and do. We do not listen to them. We don’t show them we care. Sometimes we don’t value
their contributions. We discourage them and belittle them in front of their friends. Sometimes we show
favoritism to one child over another. These things are not acceptable. Parents whose love is conditioned
upon the child’s performance, will provoke that child. Every child will be insecure in that kind of love and
conclude that he can never satisfy us.

Prepare them to become independent of you.

As children increase in their age, responsibility should also increase. When they are little you put them to
bed at an appropriate time. As they grow a little older we allow them a certain amount of time to prepare
for bed. We might say something like, “Billy, you have thirty minutes to finish what you're doing and get
ready to go to bed ”. As they continue to grow older, we give them more freedom and expect them to go to
bed on their own at a decent time. If they are too tired the next day and fall asleep in school, we let them
know that they have to be responsible and go to bed early enough so that they can stay awake and be alert
in school. When they are young we give them one instruction at a time, “Pick up your toys”. When they are
older we increase their responsibility by saying, “I want you to clean up your room before the next
mealtime.”

Children need to learn to make their own decisions. They need to learn to confront and do conflict
resolution with their own friends. We can help them by telling them what to say and how to answer possible
responses they may receive.

We must allow them to fail and learn from their failures. It is our job as parents to give them the skills to be
an adult, to someday be a parent themselves. We need to help them develop their own skills and strengths
according to their own personality. Children are unique individuals. They will need to be dealt with
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