Page 88 - Family Life Student Textbook

their Christian maturity and growth to see if we on a comparable level? Do we have the same goals in
serving God? Is God leading us in the same direction?

5) Don't get married until you have passed your teenage years. Teenage marriages end up in divorce far
more often than others. Teenagers still do not understand well enough yet who they really are.

And many times, teenagers have not had enough experience to guide them in choosing a partner with the
right characteristics which will allow them to cleave to one another. Their knowledge of most people is often
too small to allow them to see the right amount of possibilities when it comes to choosing a mate. Their
focus is too narrow and does not take into account all the important issues.

6) Don't get married unless both families approve. Generally you should strongly
desire the approval and support of both of your families.

There might be some extreme exceptions. Sometimes parents have a difficult time
giving up a son or daughter to anyone. Children can help their parents make this
adjustment by being open and honest in discussing the possibility of marriage to this
person. Children need to listen to the advice of their parents. Allow the parents to
spend some time getting to know this other person. Pray and ask God to change the
hearts of your parents. Perhaps we can recruit the help of a spiritual leader who can
help to prepare these parents for a marriage of their child.

Sometimes a parent does not want a son or daughter to marry outside a certain
religion or faith. If your parents are Christian believers, they are correct in obeying
God's word to advise you, as a believer, from marrying a non Christian. However,
sometimes parents, who are not Christian believers, may try to hinder you from marrying another Christian
believer. In this case, you will have to respectfully disagree with them on the basis of God's command to
you, a believer, to marry another believer.

If parents insist that you marry someone in the same church group or denomination you may have to
respectfully discuss with them the reasons why the person you want to marry is a good Christian and would
make a good marriage partner though he or she may not be apart of a certain Christan group .

These differences have to be considered and resolved if possible. The children should pray, asking God to
change the hearts of their parents. They should be patient and give the parents time to learn to know the
other person. They should honestly listen to the parents concerns and evaluate weather God might be trying
to lead them through the advice of their parents. But, if both Christian believers feel that God is strongly
leading them together they may have to respectfully disagree with parents and ask the parents not to hinder
their upcoming marriage relationship.

7) Don't get married in a time of undue stress. Because of some pressures on Christians in the Corinthian
church, Paul counseled to them not to get married at that time.

1 Corinthians 7:26 “Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain
as he is.”

A new marriage is difficult in and of itself. The adjustments to marriage are difficult. Why compound the
pressures by getting married when there are additional stresses?

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