Page 89 - Family Life Student Textbook

It would be wiser to be patient and wait for some of the extra stress to dissipate. Most likely, you will be
glad that you were patient and waited.

10
B) Five barriers to true commitment

1) Wrong thinking:

You will be hindered from making a true commitment by thinking that a marriage partner will give you
security. Do not marry someone for the primary reason that you think a marriage partner will relieve your
loneliness. Do not be pressured because you think this may be your last chance to be married. Do not
continue to press ahead with marriage even though you have serious reservations, thinking you would be
disgraced if you break your decision to get married. Do not be motivated to marry primarily to have
children.

2) Emotional idealism:

It is too easy for singles to have an unrealistic view of the challenges of
building a marriage together. Because they are infatuated with each
other and have strong emotional feelings toward the other person, they
unrealistically believe these feelings will never change. Do not get
married based on feelings. Feelings do change and they will not hold a
marriage together through the tough times. Marriage is a covenantal
commitment to bond the two together no matter what difficulties may
come.

3) Premarital sex:

If you are currently sexually involved, take these steps to freedom.
First, admit to each other and to God that your current physical involvement is sin.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and
purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Accept God’s forgiveness.

Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions
from us”.

Commit to a plan to help you stay pure.

Agree to keep a purity covenant until your marriage.

Practicing self control now, in this crucial area, will build a foundation for trust and a lasting commitment
that will hold up to certain pressures and temptations which will come later in marriage. A lack of trust and
commitment can destroy intimacy.

10 adapted from Dennis Rainey’s “Family Life”
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