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Defensive communication strategies are an indication that we do not feel
secure in some way, at some level. It is possible to reduce defensive
climates by:

• making descriptive rather than evaluative comments,
• avoiding game-playing (such as mechanically patting people on the
back) in favor of spontaneity,
• expressing genuine feelings of caring and involvement, and

• being willing to actively seek out, listen to, understand, and use other
people's perspectives in the negotiation process.

Positions vs Interests

It often appears that negotiators are trying to reach agreement on specific
positions they have taken or specific issues that need to be resolved.
However, negotiations are never totally about what is being openly

discussed or over conflicting positions. Instead, negotiations are dealing
with the conflict between each side's needs, desires, concerns, and fears.
These needs and concerns are interests.

It is important to understand that is interests that motivate people, not the

positions they take. Your position is something you have decided upon.
Your interests are what influenced your decisions about your position. For
example, a potential employee may initially demand $46,000 for her salary
(her position). However, her motivating and underlying interests may be
in financial security, enhanced lifestyle, organizational status, or advanced

career prospects.

The classic story to illustrate the difference between interests and positions
describes two sisters fighting over the only orange in the family’s kitchen.
Each sister must have the entire orange for herself, anything less is not
allowable. A wise parent asks each of the girls (in private) why she wants

the orange. One explains she wants to drink the juice; the other wants to
use the rind to make a cake. What each sister wants is her position; why
she wants it is her interest. In this case, the simple solution is to give the
cook the rind after the juice has been squeezed for the thirsty sister, thus

David Kolzow 174