Page 175 - 4- Leading_from_Within
P. 175
meeting the interests of both.
It is also important to separate the people from the problem. Religion
teaches us to hate the sin and not the sinner. If we view the problem as a
set of interests that needs to be resolved rather than viewing someone that
holds a contrary viewpoint or position as a person to be defeated, then the
odds of a successful collaboration increase.
In all negotiations, two things are bargained for: 1) the specific issues and
demands, which are stated openly; and, 2) the real needs of the other side,
which are rarely verbalized. 189 When preparing for a negotiation, or after
it has begun, it is important not to limit the questioning to “What do they
want?” The questions should also be asked, “Why do they want it?” It is
equally important, and often more difficult, to ask the same questions
about one’s own views. Many successful negotiators find that they will be
more successful if they focus on understanding their own interests as they
enter discussions. If you haven’t started out with a clear understanding of
what you want, it will be difficult to figure out how to proceed in dealing
with the other party.
Most of what is being discussed in a negotiation, and the manner in which
it is being considered, is geared to satisfying psychological needs. If
190
negotiation involves the satisfaction of needs, then the process itself -- the
way we go about resolving the conflict -- is important to meeting the needs
of the participants. In other words, listening to what the other party has to
say and trying to appreciate and understand their particular viewpoints
demonstrates respect for them and their ideas.
The purpose of negotiating should be to take care of interests, not to
reconcile positions. If you can make a reasonable guess about what
someone's needs are, you are in a better position to influence the direction
of the negotiation. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared
position, look particularly for those "core" concerns that motivate all people
(Maslow's seven categories of needs in order of concern):
1. Physiological needs (satisfaction of biological drives and urges;
survival) (the most basic level of needs);
189 Herb Cohen. You Can Negotiate Anything. New York: Bantam Books, 1980, p. 68.
190
Herb Cohen. You Can Negotiate Anything. New York: Bantam Books, 1980, p. 154.
David Kolzow 175

