Page 35 - Nutshell 4

BARGELLO: Don’t you recognize me? I am Bargello, formerly the
Great Bargello. You sent me on an expedition to find the Two
Extremes. I’ve come back to report that I failed. It just wasn’t
possible to do what you asked. Minimax and I decided that— say,
what is that thing you’re wearing?

PESKY: Why, it’s a straitjacket. Would you like one, too? I’ll call my
assistant.

BARGELLO: Uh, no thanks, it’s not my style. Wait a minute! Isn’t
this a research institute?

PESKY: Of course it is! My research will continue after lunch. I’m
just a little tied up at present. Some of my assistants like to pretend
that this is a mental hospital and I am their patient. Ha-ha! I was busy
trying to prove that a man could in fact lift himself up off the ground
by pulling on the bottoms of his feet when they came in and played
their little trick on me. Ha-ha!

BARGELLO: But Minimax—and the Shrinkmobile—and the
Lightjumper—

PESKY: Oh, they are still in my old laboratory on Main Street. I
didn’t have space for them here in my new office. I had to leave in a
hurry and I couldn’t bring much of my equipment here. My new
assistants said I should rush right over here before someone else took
the space. Ha-ha! But the research I started over there can continue
as long as I have good workers like you to carry on my experiments.

BARGELLO: Oh, no! Now I understand everything! Wait until I see
Ericson! Well, goodbye, Dr. Pesky! (heads for door)

PESKY: (bumbles after him) Wait, wait! I have another assignment for
you! I simply must find out what happens when an irresistible force
meets an immovable object. Now, here is what you have to do—

BARGELLO: No, thank you! Goodbye!

PESKY: My, my. These young men are so impatient. Now, let me
see: what can I do without my hands? I’m sure they’ll untie them by
lunchtime. Such silly things these graduate students do! Ah, I’ve got
it! I’ll figure out in my head how to square the circle. That shouldn’t
take long. Hmm. Or was it circle the square? No matter! I’ll do both.