Page 37 - Like No Business I Know

King of the Franks

when I discovered that a bunch of independent upstarts had
cornered the market. Damn!”
“Now, now, Mr. Pepin. Don’t get yourself all worked up over this.
It’s only business, you know. You have to think of your health. Try
to eat a more balanced diet. Get some fresh air and exercise. And
above all, learn not to worry about your job. It could kill you. Do you
understand?”
“Yes, yes! I understand!” Pepin launched himself out of the chair
like a bowling ball and headed for the door. “Thank you very much,
doctor!”
In the back of his limousine Pepin fretted while mid-day traffic
impeded his progress back to the office. I’ve got to get hold of
myself, get control of things again, he thought. The world’s changing,
I’ve got to change with it. It’s not enough to make a good product
and sell it at a fair price. People go for one fad after another, and the
honest businessman gets hurt.
He looked out through the tinted window. To his chagrin, the
vehicle was creeping past a well-known Chinese vegetarian restaurant.
Pepin could see a couple of youthful diners with chopsticks adroitly
plucking slices of what looked like barbecued pork from a plate and
popping them into their mouths with apparent relish. Bah! Mock
meat! They pretend they can do without the real thing, but they can’t
stomach their pressed gluten and dried sheets of bean curd unless it’s
dressed up to look and taste as much like meat as possible! What
hypocrites!
The King of the Franks continued to ruminate on the strange
habits of the American consumer as he walked through the lobby of
One Pepin Towers, took the private elevator to the top floor, and
pushed through the teak doors to his office, ignoring every
underling’s salutation along the way. Once at his desk, he took a deep
breath and sighed. It always felt good to be in his own environment,
where the furniture was scaled to his height and the gleaming
appliances of his private kitchen beckoned invitingly to his creative
side.
Then inspiration struck. He chuckled and pressed a button on his
desk.
“Product development. Fazzo speaking.”

36