Page 31 - The Gluckman Occasional Number Eleven

Tuff Chix and Metal Men (Les Disques du Forgeron A27-404 –
import). Only the French could love some of the lighter-weight amp-
heavy groups of the later twentieth century; well, they loved Jerry
Lewis, too. Here they have bothered to license a scrap heap of
American one-hit wonders and show-biz spin-offs barely qualifying
as popular in their day. The epicene poseurs presented here can only
make one wonder about music as a universal language. Ice Berg may
find greater success as a 350-pound half-Finnish wrestler than a rap
artist: “Crack Yo’ Nuts MoFo”, at more than 14 minutes long, is way
too repetitious. UB the Judge is both more audible and clever with
his signature “Got No Time to Serve My Time”. The distaff side is
heard on this compilation, as well: Naga Hyde and the Leatherettes
(“You Ain’t Shit”), Frisquitta and Chiquilla (“Su Madre”), Tarzana
and the She-men (“Buff Your Pump”) are all pleasant enough
listening, but the inclusion of the Jingo Belles’ “Santa White as
Snow”, apparently as a nod to the ongoing appeal of holiday-themed
rock music, is a bit mystifying. If you like this kind of stuff—go for it!

Encores: The Shoestring Quartet (Halla Records 2907) Caveat
emptor! This is a repackaging of The Bach Spring Quartet’s inaugural
album, “The Bach Spring Quartet’s Inaugural Album”. The four
(Fustian Glume, Artur Gehimfurz, Rollo Dexter and Horst Radich)
made a strategic name change following the incident at Düsseldorf
Airport involving their instrument cases. Their contract with Halla
was terminated, but the company is capitalizing on the popularity of
the new aggregation to recoup their losses on the old one. This new
pressing on eco-vinyl for audiophiles presents the same program:
Schmierfink’s “Goldbrick Variations” on side A, and Schuefly’s last
quartet, nicknamed “Death and the Kitten”, on side B. You can get it
cheaper on CD and not have to turn the record over.

Fortissimo! (Gnarlophon 4087) These show-stoppers were recorded
live by the Gehenna Philharmonic at two concerts held last year in
the Daytona International Speedway and Vélodrome André Pétrieux,
under the baton of Marshall Petansky. Although catcalls and
outbursts of inappropriate applause mar the infrequent quieter
passages, the presentation of back-to-back-to-back show-stoppers
generally frees the microphone for use by the musicians. Some may
find the brass and percussion a bit too bright, but the orchestra’s
reading of these hackneyed classics does give their tarnished surfaces
new life. The selections are bookended by two crowd-pleasing