Page 32 - The Gluckman Occasional Number Eleven

waltzes: “The Cheapskaters Waltz” (Johann Streusel) and “Waltz of
the Wombats” from A Yank in Oz (Ned Kelly). Between them the
most impressive were “Night on Bald Tires” (Blowoutsky), “Entry of
the Trash Collectors” (Klostrofobik) and the timpani climax from
“The Damnation of Drumpf” (Grimberg). Be aware of the dynamic
range of this recording: it could damage your speakers.

The Three Castrati Sing Songs of Love (Chiarobscuro 8004). The
last of the old regime’s permanent prepubescents return to the studio
with another set of vocal arrangements for soprano trio of classics
and pop tunes. The standouts are, as one might expect, arias from
Italian operas. Most pleasing to this reviewer’s ears were “Mi piace il
gelato” from L’ora dei Bambini (Gambero Bivalvi) and “La Mia Dolce
Dominatrice” from Il Castigore (Moscato Ubriacone). “Down by the
Old Maelstrom” was marred by the glottal stops virtually impossible
to render even by singers for whom Appalachian dialect is native.
Simlarly, the attempt to render “Wild Thing” (arranged by Saturnino
Miñoso) in hocket pushed the trio’s vocal range into territory from
which not even skillful post-production engineering could salvage the
falsetto failures. Even so, this might make an excellent Valentine’s
Day gift for that special someone.

Movies and Television

Krampus on Campus (Dark Portal Films). In theatres well ahead of
Hallowe’en, director Monte Freitwig (Rose from the Dead, Teenage Devil
Maggots) has confected yet another masterpiece, confirming his status
as Hollywood’s most bankable auteur of adolescent horror cinema.
The shock value of youth running amok, either from or as monsters
from the depths of childhood’s still-fresh nightmares remains as great
as ever, despite the glut on the market of cheap terrors. And the
production values Freitwig brings with his roots in the Carpathian
atrocities of the 1990s and the Film School of Ruritania guarantee
every dollar spent on makeup and prosthetics will show up on screen.
It is stunning how school supplies can be turned into weapons of
mass evisceration! With Pete Wheatstraw, Billie Douce, Ellen Canto,
Harold Angell, Wyatt Hertz and Teran Kanu as The Unspeakable.
Avoid Saturday matinees if you have sensitive hearing.