Page 99 - An Evening with Maxwell's Daemons

Sweet Oblivium

Izzy Azimuth shook his head. “Ah,” he dramatically intoned, to
the annoyance of Rutger Schlager. “There’s the rub.” He hastily
added, “She already quoted the Bard, so I’m entitled, too. One and
all have swallowed the idea of a non-proprietary but perfectly
natural ingredient of Sweet Oblivium that will override any loss in
salivary seduction over time. No such thing exists now. Although
commercial food-manufacturers can get away with listing “natural
flavors” without being specific, I can’t imagine curious outsiders—
no matter in whose employ—not analyzing the heavenly manna to
discover the formula of that miraculous compound. And that would
ultimately expose the shaky foundation of the saccharine
obliviators. Perhaps a false scent has been laid: an expedition to the
Amazon rain forest had been hinted at. The heroic investigator runs
down the history of the entrepreneurs and their tight-lipped
alchemists—perhaps with a bit of extralegal snooping—and finds
that none of them ever left the U.S. More digging, perhaps in the
patent office, and—voilà! He finds that one of the founders of
Sweet Oblivium was formerly a chemist for Trifles & Truffles, LLC.
And that man’s name was on a pending patent application for an
artificial chocolate flavor, Theobroma Synthetica. The bonbon
makers then shut down Sweet Oblivium with a charge of pre-grant
infringement, sue for treble damages and threaten public exposure
of the dishonest dealings. What next? Perhaps the hero’s wife will
be an addict, and she divorces him. Or Trifles & Truffles turns out
to be run by no more ethical a bunch than Sweet Oblivium and
proceeds to incorporate Theobroma Synthetica in their line of
confections.”
“Oh, Izzy!” exclaimed Hydrargyrum. “You’ve done it again.
Please just provide some suggestions, not finish the story for
someone else. I was actually thinking of the possibility of Sweet
Oblivium turning its users—after a period of time long enough for
its marketers to take the money and run—into crazed cannibalistic
maniacs. That would appeal both to readers seeking poetic justice
and zombie thrills. Legal technicalities based on reality are really
D.O.A. in a sci-fi story, don’t you agree?”

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