Page 95 - The Perpetrations of Captain Kaga

Recounting the Binary Neeks

“How, therefore, can we, as officers of the enlightened
Protectorate of the Known Universe, optimize the effects of our
coming into contact with the cultures of alien beings on far-distant
worlds? Can we ever hope to integrate them into a trans-galactic
federation and make them responsible members of our collectivity?
We must: this is our task, at least in part. Others may stress the
economic and military aspects of our mission, but we should never
forget that it falls upon our shoulders to enlighten all beings in the
Known Universe, so that they understand actual status and true
potential. I wish you luck in your assignments and hope one day to
be with you in the field. Thank you.”
“Yes,” said Captain Kaga slowly, “I recall the man—and his
ideas— quite well, indeed. I wonder where he is now.”
“I can tell you that,” said Lugo, continuing to pace. “He’s retired
now. But before he left the service, he got his wish to see active duty.
He was the last PKU representative here before me; his tour lasted
three years.”
Kaga sat speechless for a few moments as the implications of these
words worked out in his mind. Then he cried, “Oh, no! What did he
do here?”
“Before I give you all the details, Captain, let me explain why I feel
we must solve this without word getting back to GHQ. If it became
known how badly Snempfar botched things here, it would be very
hard on him. He’d have to appear before various commissions of
inquiry, and probably be reprimanded. Of course, since he’s retired,
he can’t officially be punished. But it would be terribly unfair after
serving the PKU loyally for so many years. Some reward that would
be! We can’t let it happen.”
“I quite agree with you, Lugo. But if we fail, all three of us will get
it in the neck. Now fill me in on what’s happened.”
Lugo finally sat down at his desk. “How much do you know about
the Neeks?”
“The Neeks?” asked Kaga.
“Oh, it’s just a nickname for the locals: the Binary Neeks. Short for
‘unique,’ because each of them has a unique identity, although it’s
only a number. We’ve also had to give them individual names,
because the numbers are always changing. We have contact only with
the upper ranks, so this hasn’t been difficult: the Neeks all have
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